theatypicallife

Change of scenary

2010-02-02T20:18:00.000-08:00

We've updated the blog, and are now at:

www.theatypicallife.com

We wanted something that allowed for more links to be visible (99 balloons org, etc.)

Thanks for following us. Sorry if we have made it hard.

Also, if you had subscribed to the feed it will no longer be working, I will be working on a putting one on the new blog.

Thanks.

We're calling him Anders

2010-01-28T18:57:00.002-08:00

It's a boy

-who decided he was ready to come into the world yesterday, early morning (12:40 am). Thus far, he is quite a gentle soul, and we are cherishing the opportunity to get to know him. Ginny is currently doing great, and all details about delivery will come (or not) from her.

Of course, as all parents do, we have enjoyed seeing similarities & differences between him & his siblings already. We think he’s pretty great.

We’re still at the hospital with a winter storm beginning to take shape outside; should be able to head home tomorrow, but the weathermen are predicting icy armageddon, so we’ll see.

Thanks for all of the visits, prayers, and notes.

wow

2010-01-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

thanks Brooke for the pics...

the hazel post

2010-01-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

gm:

37.5 weeks. it has been a unique pregnancy. a long pregnancy. a new life & new memories are quickly approaching and I can’t wait! the time & affections & attention that I now spend solely on hazel will drastically change. while I can’t begin to imagine how & I fight the “whoa!” overwhelmed feeling, I really can’t wait to meet him or her & begin this new mom journey.

the other day i was telling a friend who hasn’t seen hazel in a long time about her & i found it was good for my soul. so good in fact, that I’m doing it again here. I’m very aware that this is the sort of post that matt, myself & our parents will find fascinating & probably no one else…I’m fine with that. I know without this, I may forget what is going on in this season of her 1 year old life just like how right now I can’t possibly remember what summer feels like or it was like to not be pregnant.

in the delivery room, hazel’s first breath was quickly followed by her first scream. she had these phenomenal lungs. healthy and robust & loud. the first few days of her life we didn’t know if she would do anything but scream. and while we are quick to confess that we had no idea what to do about it, we loved that scream & those lungs. the first night she was at home with us, we tried to get her to sleep in our bed & in the bassinet in our room, but the only place where she actually fell asleep was in her own crib in her own room. i was just trying whatever worked & didn’t see then the independent spirit that was there from the start. her first little “fit” was around 8 months. she was crawling & decided that being still for a diaper change was no longer acceptable. she kicked those rolly polly thighs spastically back and forth in disgust & disapproval of the diaper change. more often than not, this trend continues & she really can’t stand diaper changes & clothes changes. we laugh & sigh & struggle to teach her a different way of dealing & although we don’t know what to do with the hard-headedness she inherited from both of us, we just love it. this independence has been a big part of her whole first year & I always find myself daydreaming about if & how it will play out in the rest of her life. like maybe when that cocky junior high boy goes to grab her hand, she’ll look at him with that same look she gives people who try to get in her face and make her laugh…“seriously? am I really supposed to be impressed with this?”

she’s never been much of a snuggler due to the fact that she just has too much to explore & sitting or hugging would only slow the exploration process down…but lately she’s actually given us the occasional hug or prolonged moment. in light of the previous lack of this attention, matt & I can be found in puddles on the ground when these incredible moments take place. she smiles & laughs, but not all the time because most of the time she’s just too busy contemplating & discovering & laughing at your attempt to get her attention only slows all the discovering down. she does give kisses with that awesome 1 year old interpretation of a kiss that is an open mouth leaning into the subject to be kissed. but don’t get me wrong she doesn’t give you a kiss when you want one, only when she does.

a while back she started barking back at our dog. it’s more of an “oooh, ooooh” sound than a “ruff, ruff” and then instead of just for dogs it became the official noise for all animals. now, she’s added some variety & there are a number of fun animal noises…a cow “moos”, a turkey “begob-begob-begobs”, sheep “baa”, monkeys “aaah-aaah”, lions “ruuuuh”, tigers “guuuuuh”. she loves books & lately will actually let me read them to her. she loves unpacking things from drawers or taking everything out of a wallet or just taking all the toys out of a bin & putting them back in so she can take them out again. it took her 9 months to finally sleep & now she is a great sleeper at night, but is not so fond of the nap. older kids are always a win & when she waves at them from across wal-mart, saying “hiiiiii” & they don’t respond, she looks at me as if to say “what’s their problem?” she talks & jabbers a ton lately. one day she woke up & it’s as if she learned Chinese in her sleep. the words she can really pronounce & say the way an adult says them…she whispers these words…for no apparent reason.

like every kiddo, she is ever-changing & always keeping us guessing & is such a blast to get to know. we love her & count it a gift & honor that God has let us be her parents.

Interview with Tony Dungy

2010-01-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

Here's a link to some video of my time in Tampa. Quite an honor and opportunity to be associated with such a great group of folks.

the stranger on the couch...

2010-01-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

Our prayers are with those in Haiti.

These links have helped me know the story, as well as how I can help: world vision, aaron ivey, big picture.

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Thankfully, Ginny has arrived at 36 weeks (due feb 7); thus, weekly Dr. visits began this week. All looks good. We should have a date by next week that we will not be allowed to go beyond. Ginny is feeling quite pregnant- there is something about confinement to the couch for months at a time that has not made these last few weeks the most enjoyable. However, in light of all that this baby has already brought, we really have nothing to lament, and she-as always- is taking it in stride and smiling along the way.

Lately, we have been reminding one another that a human being is about to plant itself squarely into our lives and possibly even want us to feed it. It is amazing how the thought patterns in preparation for #3 have been vastly different than they were with both Eliot & Hazel's arrival. Survival of bed rest & daily Hazel chase have left little time for discussion or preparation. I guess this is good. I guess this is a more normal way of welcoming children after #1. But it is new to us, and seems like we're being rude to the tike to come.

Of course, there is ever present in the recesses of our minds, and more so, our hearts, the feeling that, eventually, something is going to go wrong. It is the nagging guest that will not leave- the one on the couch that you wish wasn't there, and you had hoped that if you did not acknowledge his presence, he would just go away.

But he doesn't.

And I'm sure there are some who would write this off as a lack of faith or pessimism, and it is quite possible that there was a time when I could be counted among their fold. Although, I am ever certain my faith needs work, I am just as sure that this is not the entirety of the issue.

It is just that experience can never be discounted. What one has walked through with his own two feet will always be a louder voice than the preacher or the self-help book or the bumper sticker. Because once you have walked through it, you know. And until then, you can only look to those who have.

The only statistic that matters to us, is the one whereby I have one child in bed tonight and one no longer on this earth.

I know loss. I know it happens. I know we are not safe. We do not deserve everything to be fine this go around, nor can you assure us it will be. I have walked in suffering, and it was a teacher I cannot mute.

With such disposition, we stand waiting on this baby.

And yet there is more.

Because this harsh reality ushered more lessons of experience as well.

He is good no matter what comes.

One is in bed, but for two He was faithful.

Update & Best of 2009

2009-12-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Update: Ginny is officially off of bedrest- after 109 days (but who's counting? me). It is great news on all fronts. She is now at 35 weeks pregnant. All looks great, and we are thankful for all of the prayers & well-wishes.

It has lately become common practice to randomly look at each other and ask, "are we ready for what is coming?" Of course we are & of course not. There's an idea- till now, unspoken, as not to jinx it- that we both harbor, a thought that this baby cannot be a worse sleeper than the first 8 months with our resident ankle biter. However, this line of thinking never helps, so we're just trying to gear up for what comes. And we cannot wait to meet the one who is coming.

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BEST OF 2009

It's that time- our second annual "Best of" list. Remember, something only needs to be new to us in this last calendar year to make eligible to appear below. Also, we would love for you to add anything that made your highlight reel for the year, it's a good way to be aware of things we may have missed.

Disclaimer: It must be said, that we typically pride ourselves in exploring areas not inhabited by everyone else; however, this year- somewhere between lack of sleep with a baby Hazel & bed rest- we had less time to explore- or read or think.

Books:

M(att):

Drops Like Stars (Rob Bell)

This book stole thoughts from my head on the subjects of pain & creativity, and, in the process, said them better than I could. Warning, it's a big picture-book type of book & quite awkward to pull out at the coffee shop. But well worth pushing through the embarrassment.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years (Donald Miller)

Donald Miller sees life as story, and helps you do the same. I enjoyed the opportunity to go see him talk about the book in Little Rock, and was encouraged to live a story worth telling.

Manhood for Amateurs (Michael Chabon)

The Pulitzer-prize winning novelist takes on being a father, son, and husband. If you're looking for something found at a Christian bookstor

e, keep looking. Manhood contains superb prose from a guy taking the time to convey the weight and wonder of being a man.

G(inny):

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Shaffer & Barrows)

A historical novel set on an island in the English Channel.

Ginny enjoyed this detour from her normal buffet of books.

Currently Reading (M):

Free (Chris Anderson)

The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion)

Music:

Ginny serves as the musical gateway for our household. The bands and musicians below seemed to join the mainstays, making their way into the rotation that serves as the soundtrack to our

lives.

Owl City. Ocean Eyes: With lyrics as deep as a kiddie pool, these guys seem to prove that fun music can go a long way.

Kings of Leon. Only by the Night: Radio has managed to wear them out, but I think I liked it at one time.

Mat Kearney. City of Black & White:

I kind of miss the rapping,but another great cd from a guy who managed to spell Matt wrong.

Aaron Ivey. Between the Beauty & Chaos: Changing the world, and singing about it.

The Swell Season. Strict

Joy (+ Once soundtrack) The duo that won an oscar for the Once soundtrack has a new offering.

TV/ Film:

Foyle's War: Some friends introduced us to this crime-solving series set in 194o's Britain. We've been waiting on Netflix to send us the next one every since.

500 Days of Summer: Well done movie about getting over a girl.

Once: Older movie we had never seen. Enjoyed the music more than the movie, but both are good.

Tech:

Flip Camera: A Christmas gift I can't wait to enjoy. I'm sure I'll be passing on some footage.

Google: You may have heard of it. But this year I went google for calendar, docs, contacts, and more. It allowed me to sync all content on the Iphone and various computers in ways that others promised but never delivered.

Words with Friends: Iphone app that we have enjoyed over the holidays. Basically, Scrabble on your phone playing against people you know. Makes you feel really smart & then really stupid two minutes later.

Skype Video: This has proven useful in various business endeavors as well as allowing us to see our new nephew for the first time. And it's free.

Twitter: We like it, and it forces brevity.

Whrrl: Tell a story using pictures and various other means for text. I hope to actually use this one a little more in the year ahead, but I like the concept.

Misc:

EQ3: After 5 months without a couch due to multiple debacles, probably our bar is set pretty low. But we have enjoyed our couch and rocking chair from here.

Magazines:

Due to months of bed-rest, we are up on the periodicals, and Ginny is capable and available for being your lifeline for all things magazine related.

Dwell: Modern furnishings, great photos and architectural gems.

Atomic Ranch: Mid-century modern interiors and exteriors.

Relevant: Always eager to flip through the only magazine to which I have a subscription.

Ready Made: A do it yourself mag for hipsters, granolas, and posers.

Oxford American: Great southern writing, music, and topics. All from the campus of my alma mater.

Hazel's List:

Moo, Baa, La La La. Sandra Boynton

Elmo

toothbrush

any ball

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This list- in pieces- is quite shallow, but taken as a whole the collage of the above, as well as various new memories, come together to represent quite a year.

We bought a house. Watched Hazel grow (and grow). Traveled to NYC & Petoskey, MI (among others). Found out we were pregnant with our third. Survived spending a quarter of the year with mom on bed-rest. And leave it looking forward to another.

An amazing year, indeed.

four going on five

2009-12-26T08:18:00.000-08:00

MM: We passed on our typical Louisiana road trip due to Ginny's current state of 34-weeks ripe. It turned out well, as we were able to enjoy some great family fun, as well as Fayetteville's first white Christmas in quite some time (3-4 inches). Ginny is doing well, and feeling very...pregnant. Bedrest has pretty much dissipated back to normal life. We have an appointment Monday, and baby & mom are doing great by all indicators- going on strict bedrest at 19 weeks, and now having arrived at 34 weeks is something we are celebrating this season. This "little" one is on track to beat out its big brother & sister in the birth weight department.

Hazel did not quite grasp Christmas yet, but it was really fun to see her running around- excited about something- because mom & dad's inflection let her know she should be. With some help, she managed to open each package and explore the contents with unmatched curiosity. Four stockings watched over it all- perched atop the fireplace. It will be five when Christmas comes around again. And it is this fact that calls me back from all the trappings of a typical holiday season. God put on flesh and came as a baby, overcoming death and offering hope in place of my ache for an empty stocking.

It is our hope that you have a meaningful holiday season.
Our Christmas card said it all as we approach the New Year...

"This year we remember the One sent to earth as a child...as we ourselves:
remember one.
enjoy one.
anticipate one."

Steven Curtis Chapman: My Life and My Family

2009-12-15T18:44:00.000-08:00

Steven Curtis Chapman: My Life and My Family

grass is greener...a great update

2009-12-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

gm:
wanted to update you guys on the latest around the mooney household...

life has once again drastically changed. at my appointment 2 weeks ago, things looked really good. so good, in fact, that i got permission to be up for 4 hours a day &...
wait for it...
here comes the real kicker...
take care of Hazel all by myself!
i don't think words could accurately describe how great this is, so i'm not even gonna attempt it. just know, it's really really great. life feels pretty normal, which is anything but normal. it's fantastic, superb, sensational, beautiful, wonderful...well, you get the idea..it's as if i have a brand new lease on life. i have thought lately that everyone should be put on full bedrest at some time or another in their life because since i've been "up" it seems like the grass is greener & the sky is bluer & i honestly LOVE doing all these mundane & routine things. don't get me wrong, the immobility for 10 weeks has made my being up a bit tiring & after about 5pm your great grandma could destroy me in a foot race. but i'll take tired over immobile anyday!!
we had another appointment today & things continue to look good. & we continue to pray & rejoice that the Lord is still knitting #3 together within me. exploding with gratefulness to such a creative Maker.

we'll keep on keeping ya posted.

Gender Poll

2009-12-02T20:59:00.000-08:00

For the first time there is a consensus on gender in the Mooney home. We guess boy. What do you think? Place on a bet on your left. Who knows, the majority of guessers were right with Hazel.

Thankful for this gal...

2009-11-25T18:04:00.000-08:00

Here are some recent photos from my phone.

Tampa

2009-11-17T19:06:00.000-08:00

Because my wife has threatened to out me if I did not mention something, here I go. I am leaving tomorrow headed to Tampa, Florida to attend a banquet put on by Family First. I will be receiving an award named after Tony Dungy's father (Wilbur L. Dungy). I am more than flattered and honestly humbled.

It is a bit overwhelming, as it feels somewhat like being handed the World Series Championship in the first inning of game 1. With that said, it is a great testament to my son and my God.

Ginny disagrees, but I feel as if I forfeit any dad status by leaving her and Hazel in their current state. I'll try to keep some updates coming on Twitter. Let me know if you have any good questions for Tony or Max Lucado.

The leash is longer

2009-11-17T13:57:00.000-08:00

MM: At our Dr.'s appointment last week, after 9 weeks of complete bed rest, Ginny was given the green light to get off the couch for "1 to 2 hours a day." Needless to say, she is quite happy with this turn of events; she was most excited to be able to cook a meal.

Ginny still cannot be left alone with Hazel; so, her life changing freedom hours have not equated to much change on my end. Our friends and family are a constant at our house. They've got to be tired of us, but they show no signs of giving up yet.

Twenty-eight weeks down, and each week that passes with no delivery is a great thing. We are deeply immersed in what for us has been a 7 month conversation- what will we name this little guy or gal? The list is narrowing, and no we're not telling you.

Obviously, I have been a little quiet as for my take on this whole bed rest journey. There's plenty to say, but very little opportunity to sit down and write it. For me, it pretty much all boils down to an epic lesson in how unbelievably selfish I can be. Your wife on bed rest pretty much forces you to be the guy you wish you were- you serve your wife & you get to be the dad that you always hoped you could be. So, in practice, I am doing the stuff that saints are made of. However, I would quite prefer to perform these righteous acts without all the frustration, fatigue, and mental cussing. I'm doing all the right things, but struggling to do it excellently.

I pretty much cannot relate to my male peers these days. They want to talk fantasy football & razorback victories while I sit wondering why she woke up at 5am and contemplating adding another snack before putting her to bed. The ongoing joke is that I only lack mammary glands. I gravitate to working mothers and look for opportunities to quiz them on their child's caloric intake.

And I love it. I really do. I love being such a vital part of Hazel's life. I know this season will not last forever. And when it is gone, I will miss it sorely. It is this perspective that leaves me most frustrated when I am not enjoying the process of my current status. I know there is a beautiful fragrance to cherish here, but I smell dirty diapers.

As for Hazel, she is quite a trooper. She's walking, laughing and exerting her will on the world. She's not unaware of what is going on. My getting out the door has become something like an olympic event. Gold medals are awarded when I slip out unnoticed and tears are avoided. And gold medals are a rarity.

The current season of life seems like one of survival for all three of us. But all of it is such a great reminder of lessons learned in days past. We're making it. And baby's coming!

And the leaves keep talking

2009-10-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

MM:

It has been a while. Ginny's bed rest has not really allowed much time for blogging- or going to the bathroom for that matter. She has a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow. It has now been 6 weeks and 5 days of bed rest, but who's counting?

Me, that's who. February, the month she's due, seems more like a speck on a distant horizon than a reality, almost a little cruel to actually dwell on. But getting through a day is a victory, and a good thing for baby #3.

I always prepare scripted answers to questions I know I will receive in multiples of ten. This process, while admittedly uncreative, allows for the fact that I am prone to uninhibitedly say what I think and this habit often leaves me apologizing to someone for something. So, I craft a good enough reply, and if the first recipient seems pleased, I go with it. In order to give you a window into our world, here are a few of the ones dealing with bed rest.

> Life looks wildly different than it did 6 weeks ago. The way we do every single thing as a family has changed.

> For me it is completely a a physical thing. There is more to do than I can. And I have no time to feel anything because the trash needs to go out, Hazel is crying, and we probably need to eat something tonight. For Ginny, it is completely an emotional thing. And the fact that what we are walking through looks so different, is what makes it feel like your not going through it together.

> No Ginny is not bouncing off the walls. She is actually handling the down time well. Somehow, she manages to have plenty to do, all from her perch on the couch. But what has been really hard for her is not getting to mother Hazel the way she would like. Watching other people meet the needs of your daughter is not fun.

There are plenty more actually, but you get the idea. I just wanted to give a brief update on bed rest. Again, our family and friends have made it possible for Ginny to do what she is supposed to- sit and be still. We cannot thank them enough.

However, today is not really about bed rest. Today is about honoring two of my favorite lives: my son and my wife.

Today is Ginny's 30th birthday and the 3 yr marker for Eliot leaving this earth.
Today is a special day.

I hoped that forcing myself to write on this day would help me grapple with what I feel and think about a day that is always an awkward tight rope walk between deep pain and inexpressible joy.
----------------

Tears fall like leaves around this time each year. Fayetteville is on fire.
Our hometown is covered with hues of red, orange, and yellow. As if the trees were trying to tell us something. A recital for those who will listen. I devise reasons to get out of the house just so Hazel and I can meander through streets- the ones with real trees, just before and after the suburbs. I don't even try to describe the brilliance to Ginny because she will know she is missing out.

Far and away, this is my favorite time of the year. The intensity of the colors are matched only by the thoughts of my son that come so effortlessly and so often. Thus, this season always come bearing gifts for us. And I love it for that.

Ginny broke down this week on a friend who asked what we would do for this day. Nothing seems appropriate or enough. How does one approach a day that changed everything? Not to mention, it is Ginny's birthday. And before you wish that weren't so, just know that there is something beautiful about that fact that I cannot quite put to words.

So, defying doctor's orders, I took her out today. We visited the grave and ate an Italian lunch. But most of all, we just drove around and looked up at the leaves.

We talked about how Eliot's life has changed us. Of how God has worked enough redemption that we can breathe. We can see green peaking through ashes. In fact, just being witness to this is one of the main changes. For we desire to be a part of God's working redemption in the lives of others.

And the leaves keep talking. He is making all things new.

october

2009-10-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

gm:
october is a great month. leaves are changing & falling. football is in the air. pumpkins on the porch & pumpkin bread, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin muffins in the kitchen. lately, when folks come over to help bedrest life happen they have on jeans & boots & scarves. everyone is buying candy & working on their halloween costumes.
and...october is when hazel was born, when i was born & when eliot went home to be with Jesus.
yep, it's a big month around here.

hazel turned 1 last wednesday & on saturday we had a little party at our house. bedrest didn't stop the fun. i made a banner and then bossed my great mom & great mother-in-law on all the other details. friends, family, tons of kids, pbj sandwiches, balloons, cake and the wonderful chaos that the combination of those things bring. hazel even got to try her first piece of cake. to say she loved it is a serious understatement. she looked at me, with that serious look she so often wears, as if to say "really? you knew about this? and you're just now letting me try it". she devoured it. started by picking the icing off, then grabbed the whole piece in her hand & ate off of it one bite at a time. all the while never unclenching the fist out of fear of losing this greatness.
later that day, when most of the guests had left, matt & i gave her the gift we had gotten her: her first baby doll. i've never seen her play with a doll before & wasn't sure what she'd think. it was love at first sight. all hugs & kisses for the doll.

all first birthday parties are special, no matter who the kid or what their family. but for me, this one was quite special. it wasn't exactly what i pictured...many of the fun & crazy traditions i'd like to start for Mooney family birthdays will have to wait till next year, when my world is a bit larger than my couch. the truth is that hazel will not remember her first birthday, but i sure will. at one point i looked around the room & the scene looked particularly familiar. some new faces, but many of the same faces that knew & loved eliot & celebrated his birthdays with us, were joining us once again for a birthday celebration. yes, it was quite a special day for quite a special gal.

now for lots of pictures:

impossible love

2009-10-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

there's a line from a movie i have never seen that my dear friend often quotes when we are talking about being moms. the mom in this movie looks at her daughter, sighs, & says "impossible love". if you are a mom, my guess is that resonates with you. how can you even describe what loving your kid looks like? what it feels like? it bursts, aches, frustrates, rejoices, thanks, tires, energizes. it can make you feel crazy one moment & more sane than you've ever felt the next. i think about this often as i attempt to mother eliot while missing him. hazel while currently on the couch. #3 while not yet having met him/her.
i think that there is a lot of mommy refining taking place here on this couch. i don't pretend to totally understand all that He is teaching me. but what i do know is that i am not the mom i long to be and it has nothing to do with this bedrest journey.

for about the first 3 weeks of bedrest i didn't have our camera. i wasn't totally sure where i last had it & asking someone to search for the camera was low on the list of all the millions of things other people are daily doing for us. the other day a friend brought his fancy camera by for us to borrow. i am beyond grateful. here are some of the latest pics taken by a mom who loves her kids with that impossible love...

teeth

#3

a little...well, a lot...of bonding time with dad lately

side ponytail (& when mom's on bedrest, pants are totally optional)

thirty thanks

2009-10-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

gm:
A friend of mine keeps a blog completely of lists…and I love it. Not sure why, but it intrigues me and even when the topic is seemingly not that interesting, it is really interesting. So this post is a little random list of some of my most recent bedrest observations. I do not presume that this is interesting, but I guess you never know.

Things in my normal life that I usually take for granted, but bedrest has reminded me that I am really really really grateful for:

1. An incredible husband (think I’m just saying that? wrong, see previous post).
2. 2 incredible kids. (almost 3)
3. Serving Matt.
4. Caring for Hazel. (see #11-17)
5. How many people I know & love.
6. How many people I know & love that are really fun to hang out with.
7. How many people I know & love that are really fun to hang out with & go out of their way to stop by my house.
8. The windows in my living room.
9. The view out the window from my living room. (trees, leaves falling, clouds, sun, squirrels)
10. Where I live. (Close enough to the university to hear ballgames, frat parties, etc.
11. Bathing Hazel.
12. Feeding Hazel.
13. Holding Hazel.
14. Dancing around the living room Hazel.
15. Playing with Hazel.
16. Changing Hazel’s diapers.
17. Swinging at the park with Hazel.
18. I can read.
19. I can see.
20. I can smell.
21. I can think…well, most of the time.
22. Cooking.
23. Walking.
24. Books.
25. Driving.
26. Restaurants.
27. Grocery shopping.
28. Cleaning. (this one is so shocking)
29. Shoes. (I guess more specifically I’m thankful for typically having a reason to wear them)
30. i get to be a part of God making another person! May I never overlook this gift...amazing!

the latest & the greatest

2009-09-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

gm:
the latest:
so what i affectionately call the "bedrest journey" continues at the mooney household. we went in to the doctor last week & there was no change with the placenta previa. we left there with a better understanding of what is going on, since the info received before pretty much was in the midst of a scary unexpected trip to the hospital. at this appointment, we were able to sit & ask our doctor (side note: this incredible, God-send woman who delivered eliot & hazel & has walked through a lot with us) to explain further what happened & what is the skinny on the situation. the short of it is that there are 2 things that make this placenta previa a bit precarious...1. how early in the pregnancy it is (i am almost 21 weeks) & 2. that there has already been hemorrhaging. so i continue to sit & we day by day are learning a completely new way to do life with mom on the couch. more on this later...but for now, the real reason i got on here...

the greatest
he hands me a cup of water & i spot her drool on his arm. i lay here & he glances my way while rushing through our house with her in his arms. his eyes are tired, but it would take a lot for him to actually admit his exhaustion. he pushes through the unique challenges of our new way of doing life with such humility, determination, & love. at the same time, he's honest in the difficult moments. he schedules the baby's week with moms-day-out, grandparents, friends, & sitters so he can attempt to work & oh, i don't know, make a living in the midst of this. he comes home from work. he lays on the floor so she can crawl over him, around him & then up to his face. they laugh together & play for a while. he empties the dishwasher, then fills it. all the while with the little girl pulling on the leg of his jeans that really need to be thrown in the wash. he prepares my dinner, he prepares her dinner. he feeds her, bathes her, puts her to bed, then actually feeds himself. he picks up from her dinner, sweeps the millions of cheerios from underneath her highchair, then does more dishes, then a little laundry, then putting away the toys.

all the while, i sit & i watch. he does that which i currently can not. i watch him do the routine daily things with her that i took for granted & now miss terribly. i watch him serve me & wonder what it now looks like for me to be his wife when all i've ever known is what i now can not do. it's only a short while. in my head i know that, but my heart is having a hard time adjusting to my role as a mom & wife completely redefined...even if it's only a short while. i wonder a lot. my mind goes all kinds of places & most of these are places that blur the picture before me.
in front of my very eyes is something spectacular that i've been too immersed in myself to see.
yes, it's matt.
yes, it's the greatest, out-of-this-world daddy.
yes, it's the greatest husband who relentlessly loves his wife.
but really, when the picture focuses just a little, i see that it's actually Jesus. it's been Him all along.

Matt's birthday was a week ago. All that I had planned for his birthday wasn't possible. Therefore, from his wife on his birthday, he received, for the first time ever...nothing. So this post is a little insight into our lives as of late, but is more than that, it's a birthday present of sorts. A "thank you". A "love you". if you so choose to comment, wish him a belated birthday with me.

the Walmarts post

2009-09-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

MM: I insisted that we give some sort of update on life even though Ginny just wanted to release some apparent, pent-up anger. I am glad she is writing. I am currently happy about all things that occupy her while simultaneously involving little to no movement.

Read the post prior to this one if you did not know that Ginny has been placed on bed rest. She is doing well- although the most difficult part by far, for her, has been the mandatory hands-off approach to parenting Hazel. I am tired, but smiling. Yes, we’ve bonded. Hazel always loves the hand that feeds her. Yes, I have had lots of help from great friends & family.

We go to the Dr. in order to check on everything on Wednesday. Until then, tell them what you think about it, Gin…
____________

GM: So most posts on here are quite… well…they’re sort of serious. We like to talk about all that Eliot’s life taught us & continues to teach us & for both of us there is a lot of healing & processing in the midst of that.
When I was entertaining the idea of starting a little blog, Matt would have none of it. He said, “Why would you do that when we can blog together?!” I explained that I wasn’t exactly a “writer” like him & I wanted to just post about the mundane & silly & everyday mom stuff & not worry about how it’s written. He said that was perfectly fine & even encouraged it. Well, I have yet to do that…til now…

I don’t really like Walmart. That statement may seem like no big deal to most of you, but you see, we live in Walartland. We are very close to Walmart headquarters in Bentonville, AR.
<>
The point is we live in Walmartland. Which is why, upon moving here, I quickly discovered that my days of shopping at a nice little Kroger or Albertsons or Harris Teeter were over. I remember this stark realization well. I needed asiago cheese for a delicious & easy zucchini casserole. Walmart #1: no asiago. Walmart #2: no asiago.
Not long after this experience & others similar, I decided I had to put an end to the frustration & learn to deal with this current predicament. So, now, out of the goodness of my heart, I share my tips for dealing with the megamart.

1. Always park close to the cart return. It doesn’t matter how far way you park. I my estimation, 9 out of 10 times, you are GOING to park far away at Walmart. Don’t fight it, just go with it. But if you park close to the cart return, you simply load your groceries & essentially you’re done.
2. Park near the entrance where you will end up, rather than where you start, which requires you to…
3. Have some semblance of a plan. Ok, ask anyone who knows me & they will testify that I am one of the furthest people from type A that you’ll ever meet. But, ya’ll this seriously helps me survive walmart. I organize my list into 5 categories:
a. household (all non grocery, like toothpaste, batteries, the things that take forever to find)
b. dry groceries
c. dairy
d. meat/freezer
e. produce/bread
I go in that order & don’t judge, just try it & tell me if you don’t spend WAY less time in Walmart than you used to.
4. When deciding a check-out, don’t just go by the shortest line, look at the actual checker. Sweet grandma Pearline may have the shortest line, but you’ll be in that line all day. Just make your best guess on who is fast & it won’t matter how long the line is. In my doing this, I have made a great friend. I’ve now known her about a year, we’ve actually grabbed lunch together. I could write a whole post on how great she is, but that’s for another time. She told me to...
5. Go to Walmart on Tuesday or Wednesday morning. My friend said this is a great time to go because everything is re-stocked from the weekend & is at it’s freshest. I’ve also discovered that there are very few people there at that time! If you can’t go then, whatever you do, just don’t go on Saturday or Sunday people, it’s just frustration waiting to happen.

So there ya go. And it’s not even Christmas.

the latest happenings

2009-09-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

GM: Very rarely in this life are we still. Quiet. Calm. Listening. The merry-go-round of life just goes & goes, only faster, never slower & all you hear is the hum of it going round & round & the loud background circus music. I'm nearly 5 months pregnant with an 11 month daughter, a dreamer husband, a little small business, friends that have not been called back, a home full of empty walls & a floor that needs to be repaired & laundry piled up...well, you get the idea. The carousel has been spinning & spinning for quite some time now and quite abruptly this week it stopped. It didn't just slow down, but rather came to a screeching halt.
Thursday night we had quite a scare. Essentially Matt & I thought we lost this baby. We rush to the hospital, barely breathing, praying, but not really knowing even how to pray. The doctor did an ultrasound & there it was...a strong beating heart & a healthy baby bopping around within my belly. The miracle of life is always amazing, but in the midst of all that fear & emotion it was truly beautiful, truly miraculous. Matt & I stood in awe & amazement. I am still in awe.
They found what's called a placenta previa. Essentially my placenta is in the wrong place & had caused hemorrhaging. It's a pretty common thing & we left a few hours later with instructions of bed rest. Not the kind of bed rest where you just take it easy, but the kind where you only move to go the bathroom & shower. Not sure how long this will be the case, but for now my life's present assignment is to care for & help Jesus make this baby by being still. Most respond with "oh I'm so sorry" or I even got a "you're gonna be SO bored!". But a little bedrest is nothing to be sorry about. We rejoice. In light of all we had thought on that breathless ride to the hospital; bedrest, ya know, is just no big deal. So we rejoice. I rest. We hope. I watch the beauty of a father & husband serving, loving recklessly. We pray a prayer of thanks & also of humbly asking God to protect this baby & my body.

It's amazing to me how true stillness can cause such stirring. It seems that as my body slows, my mind speeds. Nothing is without purpose & I feel as if my current quiet is no different. I anxiously await glimpses into Jesus' intent for my heart in this.
As I await & rest, I encourage you to join me & see what you may be missing out on. If you just thought, "I don't have time", then you really are the one that should join me...if you really think about it, you're not that busy.

Also, this bedrest may make me do crazy things...like post more on here. I apologize ahead of time.

Fall is Upon Us

2009-09-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

GM: Every year around this time something happens in our house. It's called college football. Matt & I both get a little excited about college football & specifically our teams. You see, we each cheer on different teams. Matt is an Arkansas Razorback (unranked) fan & I am an Alabama Crimson Tide (preseason #5) fan. Which to most married couple is no big deal. But to us, two avid fans of two different SEC teams, this is a big deal. All kinds of trash talk & making fun of every facet of the other's football program goes flying through our house. We love the banter & have so much fun with it.
The thing about the way it generally is around here is that I just happen to be the one who dresses Hazel on a daily basis. So, despite numerous Razorback apparel hanging in her closet due to the little fact that we live in Fayetteville, AR, you can see below what she ended up wearing last Saturday. We sang the Bama fight song & said ROLLLLL TIDDDEEEE all day & it was a blast!

things I am enjoying lately...

2009-09-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ginny & I have started listening to some church history cd's that Tommy Nelson taught on back in 1999. I'm on the third cd, and really enjoying it thus far. I have the cd's, but I am pretty sure you could listen here.

Also, enjoy this video. I try to surround myself with people more talented than myself. If you know me, this is not a hard goal; however, I have succeeded on many levels. This is just an example of one. With no further ado, hit it Ben.

Donald Miller talks about his new book

2009-09-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

(Not so) Weekly Interrogative

2009-09-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted a question in a while, here goes:

I recently realized that I basically go to the same 5 websites. Although I am perfectly fine with this, I figure I am missing out on some good stuff. So, favorite website we may not know of?

Comment and let me know, but:
#1 don't be trying to sell me something
#2 and no dirties

Thinking...writing

2009-08-26T13:07:00.000-07:00

MM: (now that Ginny & I blog together, at least in theory, this indicates that this is Matt writing).

Here's some lines I wrote recently.

I know this is a bit different tack than is normal, but if you know me, then you know that abnormal is the norm.

Not the mid-life crisis of our fathers:

it’s always funny till it’s you.
seeing others struggle with the quickened gait of father time.
slow down old man.

am I doing enough? slowing down enough?
and what precise number of daughter hand holds will suffice?
I have found no way to do all the things that matter.

I want to feed the poor.
travel the world.
raise her to know love.

I want to date my wife.
succeed at work.
meet all needs I know of.

but that filthy dog needs a bath.
and we surpassed the oil sticker 700 miles ago.

I am not battling male-pattern baldness.
rather, will my few moments be remarkable?
I despise whiter teeth or the cliché red convertible.
but aspire to do things that matter.

when my box door closes
will the few lines of text reserved for me
refer to a pristine terrier and a smooth running engine?

She says it...

2009-08-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

better than I could.

Go and win some of Ginny's jewelry.

therunamuck.com

Ginny is headed to Louisiana this weekend. That means me and the baby girl on a daddy-daughter weekend. Speaking of, Hazel is crawling, teething, and growing. Things have been a little wild, but good.

Words

2009-08-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

By way of catch up: Ginny is still feeling the effects of making a person, but looking forward to feeling better here in a couple weeks. While on the subject of making things, Hazel is currently getting in 4 teeth (she already has 2). For those without children, suffice it to say that she apparently is not excited about this occurrence and thought she was managing just fine without them. She is also pulling up and desiring that any and everyone hold her by the hands while she practices walking.

Pulling up. Falling down. Getting mad. Being cute. This is pretty much the cycle of Hazel's awake time. You've got to love it.
________________________

There was a story on Eliot and 99 balloons today in our local paper. You never know what is going to actually show up in print with these things, and we were thankful to the author for capturing the spirit of how we feel.

________________________

Below are the words that I spoke at Avery's funeral. I sought and received Shane & Carissa's approval to post these words. We have often been asked what we would say to families in such a situation. Thus, it is our hope that posting these words may, in some way, encourage others under the same plight, as well as assist those who surround them.

________________________

What does one say- when there is nothing to say?

We read in Job that his friends traveled to be near & to comfort him in a time of great loss. And upon their arrival they simply sat with him in silence for 7 days.
That seems appropriate for today. Words do not.

However, I desire today to simply and frankly speak to Shane & Carissa (and to you too Kaitlyn). And I also desire to speak to you- friends and family of Avery.

I come not as a well-studied authority on our topic today. Rather, Shane & Carissa are my friends. And also much of this is all too familiar to me. We- the early grievers of our children- are a tight-knit bunch. And so I am compelled to speak at a time that silence would be my preference.

For Shane & Carissa have arrived at a destination where my wife, Ginny, & I are waiting. Though the destination is the same. The route…both before and after…is always much different.

I do not pretend to know what you guys have gone through. Or what hurt lies ahead for you both.

Yet, though our specific routes will differ
- truly, even your own individual routes will be different-
Even still, I hope my comments on the climate and on the lay of the land will somehow serve to help your journey.

I will not try to make it all better. I am confident I cannot.

But I will speak of truth.
And there is truthfully a reason to hope today.
We must cling desperately to the deck of truth as the waters of grief, hurt, and anger rise around us all.

And only by the hope found in truth do I stand here today- still, myself, holding, white-knuckled- on to this deck of hope and longingly waiting for the truth to be born out.

Let us not forget that all of this is to celebrate Avery’s life. To commemorate. To honor her precious, wonderful life.

Yet at the same time, none of this is for her. It is for us who miss her.
And how do we not miss a life that changed our own?
I have no hesitation saying that each one of us will leave here today forever changed by this girl’s impact on our own lives.
So, Today. And all of this- it is for us.

Because Avery is not here.
Heaven is not a warm, fuzzy designed to make us feel better at times such as this.

It is a core tenet of Christendom declared and counted on by belivers for ages.
Proclaiming in a world of loss that...
Jesus Christ has overcome the awfulness of death and offers eternal life.

Will you have eternal life with Christ? I don’t know; maybe you should give pause to that question yourself.

But I will tell you this. Avery does.
Eternal life with Jesus Christ. Her healer. Her Father. Her Lord.

It is because of this reality that
I Thessalonians 4 reads…
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.
We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
…And so we will be with the Lord forever.

And now, to you Shane & Carissa, I say…
Good job. Good job.
You loved her. You loved her well.

Avery was not alone in the fight for her life. You fought with her. Beside her.
You decided to give her life.
You realigned your entire lives.
Because. Well…Avery.
You quit jobs.
Went without sleep.
Made horrible financial decisions.
Because. Well…Avery.

Well done. You made the right decisions.
You are her mother. You are her father.

With Avery you get something you are not likely to get again:
Not with KK.
Not with any possible future children.

You get to see the whole picture. It is all there, encapsulated in a beautiful life.

And you get to look at the whole, and you get to evaluate how you did Mom. How you did, Dad.
And you did good. Well done.

However, it is important for those of us around you to remember. You are Avery’s mother and father. Present tense. And she will always be a part of your family.

And while I applaud you for the job you have done, with all that I am, I now encourage you for the road ahead.

When all is in disarray and upside down and wrong side up. I implore you to remember this order: God and then each other, than all else.
• Always first. God. Take your questions and all of your heartaches straightway to him. He can handle them, even welcomes them.
He is the sole source of true comfort. All good things come from him. I have often sought & wrestled for understanding that has not always come.
But what has come is the reality that I understand God less, but know him more.
• Next. Each other.
With your eyes focused on God, allow that which could tear apart, to instead pull you two closer together. Closer than you were. Closer than you imagined you could be.

And now to those listening in. To the friends and family of Avery. The friends & family of Shane, Carissa, and Kaitlyn.

Good Job. Well done. Shane & Carissa have constantly mentioned how people surrounding them have responded and rallied around them in amazing ways.

But I implore you as well.
Now is the time you are needed.
From today forward begins the hour for which you have been placed in the lives of Shane & Carissa.

Do not hide behind the notion of giving them their space. While it was much easier to understand your role before now: bringing them meals, getting them a place to stay, going and visiting.
Your role- although less defined- is just as important:
a shoulder, a call, a note, a listening ear.
Not just this week. not just this month. But for this life.
You will be the ones that remember, that cherish Avery with Shane & Carissa.

It is my firm conviction, Shane & Carissa, that you will not get over this. And, in fact, that is not even the goal to which we strive.

Rather, we who call Christ Lord
Believe in Redemption.
We look to Jesus as our template.

The cross is awful.
His death is gruesome.
But…God wasn’t finished with the story.

Thus our real hope for today and for tomorrow is that God does the hard work that only He can do. The toil of making beauty from ashes.

He- who gave his own son- is our hope.
may we all fix our eyes on Him as we miss this beautiful life.

3. It's the magic number.

2009-07-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

Having traveled lately quite a bit, and when not traveling, being occupied with catching up due to travels- our communication has lacked. But we have had some great times this summer doing something infinitely more important than communicating…creating and living days that are worth communicating.

With that said, the following posts are some various thoughts and words from our world:
_________________________________________

(July 20)

He would be three today. Rather, he is three today.

This provides a great introduction to just the tip of the problems I have with wrapping my mind around the way I feel today. The way I will feel tomorrow. Next year, for that matter.

I don’t know what to think- or even what to think on. Most definitely do not understand how to prod my heart to feel. Not that it would matter. I certainly have learned that the heart makes a terrible student, but a great teacher. Ever illuminating the fact that walking through something never feels like you thought it would, and exposing foolishness at thinking you could fathom a path unwalked.

Ginny is better at marking these days than I am. She just goes about being his mom. Deliberating and decorating his headstone, whipping up cupcakes. Mom stuff.

For the most part, I pass time by attempting to decipher what I am feeling and comparing it to what I should be feeling. Although I am tempted to describe my current state as numbness. In fact, what I feel is the exact opposite.

I feel it all. From all directions. Happy. Sad. Celebratory. Fearful. And the list goes on.

Despite the illusionary wrestling match with proper feelings. It is always a good thing to remember. To intentionally go to breakfast at a place that holds special Eliot-meaning to Ginny & I, and to talk about our son. To take Hazel to Wilson Park where her big brother frequented. To pour a drink and watch video of our son.

Never sure what to feel, but certain of what to do: remember.

Thus, this day is different. Yet this day is no different.

Happy Birthday.

________________

Right before we headed to New York for the Today Show, we received notice that put the interview into proper perspective by trumping any New York news.

We are pregnant! We are thrilled.

Ginny is about 11 weeks along with a due date of February 7th. Lord willing, this child will be 16 months younger than Hazel.

No we will not find out if it’s a boy or girl. No we won’t tell you our potential names. Yes, we are those people.

In fact, we got to see this baby today via ultrasound. Amazing. Pretty much kicking, punching, and being awesome.

Ginny is sick but smiling. Three pregnancies in three years, and I must say, she has never been more beautiful.

Praying for our friends

2009-07-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Our hearts go out to the Keirsey's tonight. You may recall Avery's information being posted on our blog recently. We took down the button from hesitation that going on the Today Show may inundate them with unsolicited attention. With that said, they assured us it was fine. Anyway, they are walking through the valley currently, so please feel free to encourage and pray for them.

Sunsets, long-sleeves, and lots of food

2009-07-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

MM: The title pretty much sums up our time here in Petoskey, Michigan. It has been so fun to join the gals. Miss Thing is loving the never-ending supply of attention she receives from Ginny's family. Her attempt to perfect the army crawl has continued, and she has recently pulled up to a standing position for the first time.

Seems a lifechanging moment is on the horizon as she learns to walk. I am always bouncing between two opposing hopes for my daughter. Half the time, I find myself hoping time will freeze due to intermittent, hypothetical flash forwards of adolescence. So I wink and tell her to stay here forever. The other half is spent begging her to grow up, so I can take her to a game, have a conversation, and know what she is thinking. But, in truth, both options are just fine. I am just glad to know her today, and look forward to the days ahead. It seems that all roads ahead are bearable, as long as she continues to choose to walk towards me.

And this is why I continue to know that writing is good for me. I was just going to give an update, but got sidetracked by my ever-growing gal. The exercise forces me to think through what is only a fleeting thought otherwise.

Well, on to bed. And to those of you in anyplace like Arkansas...get this: I wore long sleeves and a jacket tonight. So good.

Back home (kind of)

2009-06-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

MM: Ginny & H went on to meet up with family in Michigan; I will be joining them for the week of the 4th. Glad to be home. Lots to process.

Here are some pics from the NY trip. I decided since the city can seem so big and overwhelming to photograph, I would focus on one street. So here is a glance at a stroll on 54th, from 6th to the water. What can I say? I like the cabs.

NY meet the Mooneys

2009-06-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

We leave tomorrow morning for Hazel's first trip to New York. Ginny thinks she'll love it; I don't think she'll know we're gone.

By way of details, we will be on The Today Show at 8am this Wednesday (June 24). It will be on at 8am in your time zone no matter where you are in the states, or so I am told.

We'll be placing updates on the twitter account listed in the post below.

another ripple...in New York

2009-06-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

MM: Summer has been a whirlwind thus far. The three of us headed to Waco, TX last week in order for me to perform a wedding for some great friends. It was the first time doing that, and, well, they're married.

I had the paradoxical honor of speaking at Eliot's funeral. Like never before, it was something, for some unknown reason, that I felt I had to do. Wanted to do.

And although "difficult" does not begin to explain the toll of that experience, I no doubt live in light of the satisfaction that being Eliot's father on that day meant that I stood and spoke at his funeral. Being his dad meant doing that. And I always love being his dad.

On that day, near the end of my words, I said, "We encourage you today to not forget Eliot. To not forget whatever his sweet life taught you. Please go & do that which has been stirred in you through his life.

And we look forward to hearing of the ripples he has made in eternity."

I do not think we anticipated the actual weight of these words. And at that moment, if we had never heard of another life impacted by our son, we still would be floored by what we had already witnessed.

But the ripples have become waves, and we just sort of stand on the shore and laugh in bewilderment.

Eliot's story re-aired on the Oprah show last week. The three of us will be heading to the Today Show in New York in order to do a follow up interview. I know...crazy.

Feel free to follow our excursion via my twitter account. We leave on Tuesday. We will be on the show on Wednesday. I believe it will be a later segment in the show, but I will pass on details when we have them. Of course, everything could change, and once they meet me who could blame them for a changing their minds.

As always, we feel that we must explain that excited is never a word that we could use for an opportunity such as this. We are honored to share Eliot's story. As noted earlier, we feel that this is the way that we are his mom & dad now. So, we are thrilled about telling his story and talking about the great folks that make rEcess happen, and for going to New York on someone else's dime. However, we are going before a large audience to share about the hardest thing we have ever experienced.

As this has come together quite fast, we would love your help in spreading the word to anyone who you think might care. We have good friends who currently do not know of our plans.

New York holds a special place in our hearts as its streets were the ones we wandered together on a trip shortly after losing him. Little did we know that upon approaching his 3-year birthday, we would be back to share his life on the Today Show, with his little sister in tow.

Fayetteville glow

2009-06-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

MM: A storm rolled through this evening right at dusk. We snapped some photos in amazement of the colors. It was quite a spectacular site with the whole sky ablaze with oranges and deep reds.

The three of us are heading to Waco, Texas tomorrow. I am doing a wedding for some good friends of ours. Should be a great time. I have been working on my attitude about officiating a wedding- which whispers to me that all you can do at a wedding is screw it up. Seriously, what is a "good wedding"....one where something doesn't go wrong. My furrowed brow turned the corner somewhat this morning as I did some last minute preparation for the ceremony. I realized how much I love my own marriage. And if I can help start someone else down that path in any way, then fantastic. With that said, I am crossing my fingers that I don't head to the bathroom with my mic on.

The high is 98. The wedding is outside. My suit is black. Weight loss is good.

Scattered

2009-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

We are enjoying all of the things that summer brings with it: eating on the deck, shorts, flip flops, and longer days. It all seems to fly by as of late. I am sure I am to blame some conglomeration of busyness, getting older or life with a drooler.

Ginny is beautifully juggling motherhood and jewelry design (www.theadditionshop.com) along with the numerous items to which I commit her. I am enjoying both of my jobs: working with communities for my church and business consulting (www.brandvillages.com) with companies and individuals who need some outside perspective. It is two very different worlds in which I dance; however, I do enjoy them both, even though as in literal dancing, I feel as if I am prone to step on some toes occasionally throughout the waltz. My default line about my jobs when persons ask…and they do constantly ask, and they do constantly stare blankly at my attempt at an answer…is that I work with great people at both of my jobs. Without a doubt, the future of my life- if allowed- will be well served by the time spent with the folks that I get to surround myself with (insert pay raise here). And, no, I am not currently practicing law.

On the consulting side, we are currently developing a new offering by which we can assist corporations & individuals with strategy development and problem solving with much less travel. It is aimed at being able to assist non-profits at a lower cost to them. Possibly boring to you, but exciting to me because it could allow a chance for more involvement sans traveling (which I do not mind, but the 2-job thing will not allow much of).

I’ve also been working out for the first time in a decade. I have always been active, but pretty much just ran and played basketball. Nothing else. I am not committed, but so far that has worked well for me. It is a total mind game with myself to do a workout. I have done a week’s worth of P90X. I hate it. If I ever see the leader guy- the one whose muscle-size is only matched by the size of his teeth. I might think about punching him. Of course, this would be the end of my life, but I would have to think about it. The mind games I must play include being mad at someone or something. Unfortunately, he is the current target of my rage. Of course, I could have targeted my own laziness or affinity for white chocolate, but I chose him instead. As I said, these are deep and troubled waters to wade into in order to see what it has taken me to workout. Stay posted. My money is on me being a quitter.

Recently, Hazel has not been feeling too well. Typical baby stuff. She has a couple crooked teeth sneaking into her mouth, and some stomach issues. This season with her has been so much fun. She acknowledges mom & dad and, even cuddles when she doesn’t feel well. This is big. She is typically way too busy and curious to cuddle. So, I hate that she doesn’t feel good, but I’ll take the effects.

Ginny & I had the opportunity to speak on grief recently at Tyson Inc. Yes, the largest meat provider is right here in good ole Northwest Arkansas. Apologies to all vegetarians and vegans. I am not sure what the marketing pitch looked like for this one but I can only imagine…on your lunch break, come hear about loss and grief and grab some tenders. With that said, people actually showed up. It is always extremely hard & gratifying to share of our son and of losing him.

In regards to the everyday and not really the speaking stuff.- for us, it is never harder to talk of Eliot. Always harder not to. I think some people think that when he comes up, they have opened up a sore subject that we would rather they not. But the truth is, it is a sore subject, if by “sore” you mean it hurts. However, the myth is that one could never bring it up. It is always sore and always on our mind. Thus, we prefer to talk about, remember, and acknowledge our son every time it is possible. I do think we may sometimes skirt bringing him up, but it is a sacrifice done for the other person, not out of preference.

No question this week. I am open to suggestions.

-->above is Matt writing, but I (Ginny) just hacked into his post to add some pictures of Hazel. the first is sad b/c she's crying but i couldn't help myself b/c it was a sure way of capturing the teeth. the last is her 2 cowlicks that swirl into a fabulous mohawk.

Long weekend in Lake Providence & a question for you.

2009-05-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

Thought I would drop an update. We are heading to Lake Providence for a wedding this weekend. We will be the ones with a U-Hail trailor, truck, and a babyseat. Should be a fun drive.

Lots of thoughts for Ginny and I swirling around lately. I expect these thoughts could give birth to some blog posts soon. We recently have been challenged in some great ways to live out what we profess. We're interested to see where we are led by way of these thoughts. Should be fun. If this all sounds cryptic. Well, it is.

I still have not forgotten that I owe an explanation by way of a post to some folks who I have promised to do so and respond to their question of how eliot's life and all that it entailed actually glorified God at all. It is a great question. And obviously, I have many thoughts on this topic...but I have yet to respond. I can only attempt to explain my failure to respond by pointing out the fact that I have a couple jobs, a baby, and by restating the fact that I am irresponsible.

It is such a fun time with Hazel right now. I mean every day is just so great. She has maintained her greatest skill: eating. Her smile cannot be explained. Her hair is fighting to continue its 7-month stand atop her head. Although, gravity will soon win out, we are enjoying it while it last. She travels well. Sleeps sporadically. Hates changing clothes (especially the sleeves). She scoots backwards. Cannot crawl forward despite all efforts otherwise. Pretty much she is awesome.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Enjoy those you love, and forget the fact that the house is messy.

By way of question, I will pull a temporary cop-out and ask you to explain how our son's life (and ultimate death) glorifies God. Be careful. Bumper sticker theology will not suffice for this one. Don't let that last statement scare you off. Give it a shot. Why does it?

Weekly Interrogative

2009-05-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

MM: The vacations have been great. I highly recommend everyone taking a break and getting away with the ones you love. There will always be excuses not to. But I intend it to be high priority around the Mooney house.

So, I have a question for you. We'll try to start posting these on Wednesdays so you can know when one is coming. Today's question may seem to have bad timing, but I assure you it is purposeful. I waited until after all the election fireworks to ask it:

What do you think a Christian's role in politics should be?

Your answer can tackle a specific aspect or the whole enchilada. Short. Long. Whatever. Any quotes, book recommendations, scripture references or persons of interests would be greatly appreciated.

By the way, don't assume this question is for believers only. I would love to hear input from folks who don't consider themselves Christians.

the beach

2009-05-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

last week we went on our first ever family vacation. matt, hazel & i loaded up with two other families & drove to florida to spend a few days. it was spectacular...& with 6 adults & 6 kids a bit of beautiful chaos as well. friends, sun, sand, ocean, pool, bikes, games, laughter, the smell of sunscreen & sweat & the feel of the sea breeze. it was a great vacation. yet, as with everything in our lives from here on out, there is the ache of missing eliot. the ache ebbs & flows with the days & seasons. this ache seemed a bit heightened in my heart while on our vacation. when you go as a family of 3 on vacation & you are a family of 4 - the difference, the absence, is felt. it's difficult to explain with words, just like every aspect of grief, of the missing. we drove back on mothers day. the vacation & mothers day were both wonderful & joyous...& sad...& i guess that's the way it goes without him.

here are a few fun in the sun pics.
hazel LOVED the water. she splashed & kicked & had a blast. she also LOVED being around all the other kiddos...she is not nearly as entertained this week.

Surprise

2009-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Do you see it? It’s there in my backyard. Can you see? Maybe I’m the only one, but I see it. Oh, it is so clear. There, filling my backyard & my home last weekend...
Glory.
The face, touch, words, presence of a very real God, alive & bursting forth from His people.
This may seem like a dramatic description of my friends & of a simple gathering, but it is a very true description.

Monday was my half birthday. A strange thing to note, but when Eliot went home to be with Jesus it was October 27th, my actual birthday. In the past few years, despite the attempts to truly celebrate my birthday, it just never really turns out that way…which is fine, I’d much rather remember Eliot than my birthday. But what is fine to me is not fine to my husband.
So, this year he started something that I think is a wonderful idea. We will now celebrate my half birthday. He just failed to mention that fact until about 30 minutes before 40 of our friends showed up to celebrate. Yep, Matt threw me a surprise half birthday party for my 30th birthday.
(**EVEN THOUGH WE ALREADY CELEBRATED MY 30TH BIRTHDAY, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE HERE THAT I AM STILL ROCKIN MY 20’s FOR 6 MORE MONTHS)
Matt did what he does best...surprise me & make me feel so special & loved. The theme was “all things Ginny” so there was a ton of food, chocolate, desserts, & arsagas coffee. One of my favorite musicians of all times, Ben Rector, even came & did a “home show”. And, most importantly there were our friends. The people that knew Eliot, loved him & continue to love us through our missing him. So, to all these people, a half birthday surprise party isn’t strange at all. It’s just another leg of walking this road with us. These people continue to amaze me. They don’t claim to be amazing or think the way they love is exceptional at all…& you see, that’s why they are so amazing. The serving, the loving, it’s just part of who they are. To them, it’s as simple & commonplace as a blink of the eye or breathing in & out.
It’s Jesus.
Alive in them.
Speaking volumes of His love to me.

Here are some more pics of my surprise party.

Painting of Pain

2009-04-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

With all the unwanted spare time of both Miss Things still traveling, here is something I have been meaning to put up here. Here is the link to the podcast from our time in Milwaukee in which we both spoke on grief.

The Question

2009-04-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

In light of the post below...

What is one thing you wish someone would have told you prior to marriage?
OR (In order to not discriminate against the singles)
What is one thing you would really like to know before even thinking about marriage?

8 years...longer than some

2009-04-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

MM: I just found out that Ginny & Hazel will not make it home for another day. They are in New Orleans for a wedding, and Continental Airlines is deadset on proving their incompetency. OK, I will not go further down that road, as to keep the blog PG. It's just one day, however, when you are expecting to pick them up in a couple of hours, it is frustrating.

Ginny and I are quickly approaching our 8 year anniversary (April 28). I am one who thinks anniversaries are most definitely worth celebrating. Every since we hit around two weeks of marriage, I have been saying, "longer than some"...and then throwing in some snide remark about such-and-such celebrity who was married for like an hour, or week, or whatever.

The topic of marriage has been forced onto both of our minds as of late. Two couple friends of ours are on the cusps of marriage. We have had the honor of meeting with both of the wide-eyed lovebirds, and pathetically attempting to prepare them for this thing that you can only try to explain, but we all know you don't quite get it until you're in it.

This phenomenon is precisely why pre-marriage counseling is such a funny deal. I liken it to packing a van for a lifelong roadtrip. We are honestly not sure what all you will need, and we know that you won't know yourself until the very moment you need it. What is exciting about packing a can opener? Well, when your flippin' starving, and you need it to eat, now it looks pretty handy, huh? With that said, anyone who has attempted this pre-marriage preparation feels a huge obligation to pack that van to the brim with any and every can opener imaginable.

Of all the stuff that we were told prior to marriage, the thing that has stuck was the advice that most problems in marriage will originate from the trio of in-laws, sex, and money. Of course, at the time, we rolled our eyes at the sinfulness of the pastor marrying us...we loved our families, couldn't imagine why sex was on the list, and didn't have any money anyway.

Unfortunately, the joy of packing vans for marriage trips is not the only reason marriage has frequented the recesses of our minds. We have also been witness to the implosion of some marriages around us as of late. Friends, who just could not figure out this thing of marriage for themselves. It is so hard to stand on the sidelines and watch such a thing occur.

Marriage can be the greatest or worst move for someone. It is difficult, and wonderful. It is hard, and worth fighting for. Able to strip you down naked faster than bees in boxers.

With that said, I can honestly say today that I am a huge fan of my marriage. I have no doubts that I owe that feeling to two individuals, and really just one. Ginny, for her unending love and patience with me. Jesus, for changing my life and my wife's as well.

Longer than some.

a big deal birthday

2009-04-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

today, Hazel is 6 months old. that may not seem like that big of a deal to some...kids turn 6 months all the time. but i assure you that to us, it is huge. our hearts leap in celebration of 6 whole wonderful months with eliot's kid sister. gratefulness to the One who gives her & us breath & life & purpose are exploding from the Mooney house today.

we continue to be very aware that we are "those parents"...who are unashamedly gaga over her & can't take enough pictures. here are a few from today.
Happy 6 month Birthday Hazel

Stop the Insanity

2009-04-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

MM: Was watching North Carolina put it to Michigan State, and decided to rip of the new neighbor's internet and sneak in a post.

We have been moving out of our rent house, living out of suitcases as the paint crew did their thing, and moving in to the new place. Couple that with traveling, and the Mooney family is one tired bunch.

Quirky Question of the Week:
Continuing with our weekly question and seeking your feedback, we'll play a game of "you pick it". We'll provide two questions and you pick one or both and let us know what you think. We have home on the head, so humor us:

#1 Rent or Buy? And why?
#2 What things have you done (or seen done) in order to make a house feel more peaceful oasis than Grand Central Station?

***due to comments, I have realized that #2 insinuated that our house feels like Grand Central Stations; that is actually not what I meant. Although, at times it does feel as such, for the most part, we both strive to make our home a peaceful place. It's just that we are constantly looking for new ways to do this even better.

no more sudoku

2009-03-30T08:11:00.000-07:00

Last night around 10pm, Matt, Hazel & I pulled into our driveway from a very long weekend & a very long week. We had the absolute HONOR & JOY of spending the weekend with the amazing folks at Spring Creek Church in Milwaukee, WI. We shared about Eliot & about what our lives of missing him are like now. We were blessed beyond words by the folks there...we pray & hope they saw more of God's face through what He's done in us.

It's been a while since I've flown anywhere. In the past, I have equated airports & airplanes with a good book, some quiet down time, great people watching & if I'm lucky, an empty sudoku puzzle in the airline's magazine. I learned very quickly that traveling with Hazel means no more sudoku.:)

Hazel is now 5 1/2 months & we flew with her for the first time. In the hotel, we swam with her for the first time. Through everything, she did great. She was exhausted pretty much the whole time, but did wonderful. We are proud parents. Here are a few pics of our weekend adventures!

As you can tell by the last picture, we come home a bit tired. But life goes on & we actually move from our house today. This is the house where Eliot lived. It has been very emotional for me (Ginny). Part of me wants to stay in this house forever because it was the last place I held him & within these walls the Spirit of God moved & loved & worked in inexplicable ways. I keep having to remind myself that I get to bring each memory of Eliot with me. If you are the praying type...pray for our hearts during this move.

Weekly Question (please rename me)

2009-03-16T23:12:00.001-07:00

Upon getting some great feedback from the question that was posed a couple of weeks back, we have been prompted to make a question somewhat of a weekly deal.

Please leave your answer as a comment. Of course another option is to e-mail us your answer if that floats your boat, but we would love to allow others to see your feedback, and some of our best feedback last time came via e-mail.

Also, we need some catchy, witty, trendy name for this deal..."weekly question" is the best we have come up with. Embarrassing. However, as Miss Thing has recently rescinded her week of approval of sleep, our creativity is waning. In fact, if none of this makes sense, chalk it up to the fact that I am only on this thing in the middle of the night in order to help me try to ignore her cry and the nagging inclination that I am a terrible father for not coming to her rescue.

With no further ado, the question:
In preparation for our Milwaukee trip...what is a one sentence definition of grief that best sums it up for you?

By the way, a friend of ours left us his sweet camera as he headed to Mexico for a while. Thanks. Pictures have been a'plenty, and some should be coming (I have also not forgotten my coming reply to the e-mail I received).

O, but wait.....what is that? Silence :) We win. Good night!

rEcess

2009-03-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

MM: The first Friday of each month, we get to be a part of a great night put on by 99 Balloons. "rEcess" is a 4 hour respite night for special needs families in Northwest Arkansas. It has become a guaranteed highlight of our month. We have been amazed to meet such great families and kiddo's. Each week offers so much to learn as I look at these kids and at our volunteers who give up 4.5 hours on a Friday night to make a child's week. It is without a doubt something we have not done, but, rather been a part of.

This last Friday was, as always, a great night. One thing that struck me, this week in particular, was the willingness by some stellar leaders to enter the world of the child they were working with. Most times, this meant leaving behind the put-together facade we each have honed with years of practice. And by doing so acting, well- foolish.

It takes both humility and grace to undertake such an adventure. You cannot teach a volunteer to seek connection. There is no training manual with instructions regarding leaving all you have come to understand at the door, and re-learn it all as they see it. But many do just that in order to gain a connection, or possibly a smile, from a child who does not naturally connect with the world around him or her.

Humility & grace. A couple of ideals I usually only grasp for, or strain to see in my typical day. But there it was on display, blazing for all who would see. The manifestation made possible only by ones willing to shed respect and become weak- all the while unaware that I was even watching, much less being challenged to leave my own pride behind.

#7...We did it.

2009-03-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

MM: If all good things must come to an end, how do you explain that this is too? Thanks for humoring us on this blog experiment of 7 posts in 7 days. We have enjoyed hearing from many of you and have even enjoyed racking our brains when we had nothing worthwhile to type.

Great feedback is rolling in on the question posed in #6...please take the time to respond if you have not. It has truly been remarkable to hear of some altering moments in your lives.

This post will be somewhat of a preview for the next blog post of significance that I see coming from me (Matt). By significant, I mean the next post that I actually get to sit down, sip coffee, and think long & hard on. Thus, it may not be the very next post, but it is coming.

I have received a few e-mails that are best summed up by the following summation: Thanks for telling Eliot's story. We are so sorry for you and your family. With that said, can you explain to me how this is glorifying to God in the least bit?

I have asked a particular one of these petitioners if I could post their e-mail to me and my response, as I am sure they are not alone in their question. But I do feel that this may require an extra large cup of coffee (I refuse to learn what a particular store calls their sizes).

We plan on posting at least weekly. But plans are made to be broken.

Your Turn (#6)

2009-02-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

MM: Barely, beat the deadline, but still alive for 7 posts in 7 days. Obviously, no one other than us cares, but I am all about reaching a goal. Thanks for joining us.

So now it is your turn. We are asking for some feedback. If you know me, then you know my mind is typically focused on a topic. Currently, I am working on a long-term concept with a friend of mine. We are exploring a few things, and it has been a great deal of fun thus far. Here’s where you (yes you) come in.

Please leave a comment or if you prefer more privacy an e-mail (matthewlyle@yahoo.com) answering the following:

Is there a time in your life where the way you thought changed? When opinions, assumptions, and deep-held convictions were challenged in a real way. As in, up until this moment you were certain of things, and then, in an instant (or over a span of time), it was all different.

It need not be headline news or earth shattering material. Maybe it was a book, a trip, or circumstances. Of course, for Ginny & I, our son’s life was a huge line in the sand in every way imaginable. Maybe it was something you were thankful for, maybe not.

If you would tell me about it, what changed, and the effect it has had on the rest of your life…or just anything close to that, I would really appreciate it.

Everyone has these moments. You have had these moments. Don’t make me give you a guilt trip about how you are spying on me through this blog, and all I am asking for is a little love via response.

Come on….write me. This could be a neat deal. Or a total failure. You decide which. If you write, I’ll consider it worthwhile.

There, feeling inspired?

Sorry if you have dial up (#5)

2009-02-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

Possibly a little easier to remember, you can find us now at:

www.theatypicallife.com

MM: Since Ginny and I are both writing here now, we will both try to put the initials of the one posting. However, it could be a fun game if we don't.

7 Posts in 7 days:

By now you may know, we are doing seven posts in seven days. Although it has required some added thought to the typical day, it has been a fun adventure. So, come back tomorrow....or don't.

Encountering Light:

I recently spoke at our church. As if blogging isn't narcissistic enough, I thought I would throw the audio up here. Although me teaching on Acts is not worthwhile, I did get to interview a friend of mine to illustrate what life change can look like. If you skip me (and who could blame you), I do encourage you to watch the video. Great story. Great guy. If you choose to listen, you will want to hold off the video and watch it when I refer to it.

Listen

Download(1/24/09)

Jerry Dudley Story (Edited) from Matt Mooney on Vimeo.

While I'm at it.

We have recently had the opportunity to speak about a topic that one would rather not be the poster child for: grief, loss, and life afterward. It is never exciting, but always an honor to get to share Eliot's story as well as ours.

If anyone in the blogosphere finds themselves in Wisconsin, we are headed to the Milwaukee area on March 29 to speak at Spring Creek Church.

Since, I am loading you up on the media, here is the audio from a church we got to share with in Illinois (great people by the way). We did a Q&A format, which was fun. I am saying, "we", but actually Ginny was feeling a little too pregnant at the time to participate.

Listen or Download (Recycled series)

little bloom

2009-02-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

yesterday, on his way out the door, matt noticed something spectacular in our very drab looking yard. there, surrounded on all sides by greys & browns & darkness was a burst of green & yellow & light. spring's first bloom.

the town of fayetteville still looks terrible from the ice storm. piles & piles & piles of brush & limbs & sticks & firewood stacked on every single street. the weather has been warmer the last few days, so the smell in the air is soft, gentle... and still, the picture of a quite harsh winter is very present.

hazel is here. she is creeping out of the sleepless infant stage. she is laughing at ton, sleeping occasionally, grabbing toes & toys. life is so sweet & my heart is so full. to say i love being her mom is a drastic understatement. when we let others know we were pregnant with her, there was somewhat of a sigh of relief as if she would be the new constant spring in our life after a rough winter. that sigh was from such great heart of love & good-intent, but that sigh was very wrong. life with hazel does feel like spring, but spring is not the only season.

this is the time of year when there are hints of spring & newness & life & hope and yet all around are reminders of the winter that has not yet left us. this may be the time of year that most resonates with my soul. this may be the time of year that i think will define my life until the day when i take my final earthly winter breath & begin to breathe the springtime of the eternal air of glory.

#3

2009-02-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

Last night a friend looked at the picture on my phone & said "awww, look at her". I had to correct her. She thought that the picture of Eliot was of Hazel. It made me smile & warmed my heart in a way that I can't really express. Sometimes she looks so much like him & sometimes not as much. Either way, I guess our kiddos have a similar "look" just like other families, even though Eliot isn't here & our family is not necessarily like other families.

#2

2009-02-23T18:16:00.000-08:00

Best of 2008

I am a fan of looking back and thinking about a year. And, although it is the end of February, below serves as a list of some of our favorites in 2008. Thus, although many of these things may not have been introduced in 2008, they were new to us and that is good enough for this list.

Also, in order to stave off criticism, just know that making our “Best of” list does not equal a wholesale endorsement of anyone or anything. If a pick makes you cringe, I probably saw that coming, and welcome your feedback. But at the end of the day, I invite you to make your own list if this one does not suit you.

___________________________________________

Best Music:

Ginny is my introduction to all music. She is an avid new-music hunter and has a knack for finding good stuff that I would otherwise never have heard of. With that said, I can typically take or leave quite a bit of the up-and-comers that she is excited about. However, here are a couple that stood out upon introduction, and have managed to find their way onto both of our short list:

> Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago

Here's a video of them produced by Vincent Moon who has pioneered these low-tech, one-shot videos.

#93.1 - BON IVER - Lump Sum
by lablogotheque

> Band of Horses- Cease to Begin

> Ben Rector- Songs that Duke Wrote.

Sure, he’s our friend. But he makes good music. Been waiting for this new CD.

Ben

__________________________________________

Books:

If this were just a Ginny list it would include many pregnancy & baby books that were merely flipped through. I did not list the baby books, but I did make mention of a book on grief that I revisited much in ’08. Matt is a much more avid reader than I, and had a hard time making mention of just a few:

> Jesus Wants to Save Christians. Rob Bell.
> A Grace Disguised. Jerry Sittser.
> Girl Meets God. Lauren Winner. (Ginny lost it, but she loved the parts she read)

However, there was one particular book that stood out this year for us both. It involves an incredible story, is well-told, and mentions many of our friends in Fort Worth, TX:

> Same of Kind of Different As Me. Ron Hall & Denver Moore.

_____________________________________

Movies:

> Juno.

Documentaries:

I have an affinity for documentaries that is seldom rivaled, so just know that. Ginny proves what a great wife she is by humoring my pastime and watching numerous docs that only I enjoy, but these she actually stayed awake through:

> My Kid Could Paint That
> King of Kong ; Fist Full of Quarters

____________________________________________

Websites:

> Pandora (M & G)

> Design Sponge (G)
> NYTimes (M)

___________________________________________

Podcast:

> This American Life

> Relevant Podcast
> Village Church

___________________________________________

Gadget:

> Iphone (MM)

I fought this purchase hard. Too expensive. Too pretensous. I broke down and got it. Love it. And kind of wish I could go back to the day when I didn’t think it would be impossible to go without it.

_____________________________________________

Baby Product:

> Bum Genius (G)

> Mutsy Spider (stroller/ M & G)-

If pre-baby mothers are known to nest, my wife instead chose to research. She actually spent 2 months of her life seeking referrals, googling, and possibly praying over which stroller we should get.

The criteria were:
- Fold into really small (in order to fit in our VW bug).

- Lightweight.
- Look like trendy modern hipsters who just happen to live in Arkansas (joke).
- Not make Matt stroke at the pricetag (thus, Bugaboo was out).

Thanks to our friend Cary, we found one we love.

___________________________________________

Most Significant Moment:

> Hazel’s Birth-

Obviously, for us this is hands down, and alone makes 2008 terrific.

> Obama Inauguration-

Before you write me off as a liberal, just read. No matter who was your preferred candidate, Ginny and I both had a feeling that we were witness to something that was quite unexpected in the way of historical moments. A black man became President of the United States. It seems America has come a long way, and that, we were proud to be witness to.

___________________________________________

“Best Of” that doesn’t fit into a category:

> FLOR –

(www.flor.com) We were leery buying this rug-subsitute over the internet. But were really pleased. It is easy to clean, but not an industrial feel. Thus, she can crawl on it, and do what she inevitably will do…get it dirty.

#1

2009-02-22T18:54:00.000-08:00

7 Posts in 7 Days:
In an effort to regain some blog momentum, we decided to do 7 posts in 7 days. Pathetic, marketing scheme? Of course. Should be fun.

Different Name
Through much cajoling, I have convinced Ginny to join me on this blog. She has been secretly blogging along the way, but desperately hoping no one finds her (her old blog). I do understand. However, we will now both be blogging at this site.

Of course, it will look different. But that is a good thing. I have assured her she can do whatever she wants, which includes recommending some of her weirdo bands. So, you (the reader) will have to be on the ball, cause maybe it’s me writing, maybe it’s her. You can do it.

Due to this fact, we’ve decided to change the name. The blog will still be located here, but will be called “the atypical life”. This seems to fit us a little better, and the post below describes a glimpse of why.

Home is not where the heart is.
Ginny & I are in the process of buying a home. If you know us, this is quite a big deal. We fancy ourselves to be happy renters. We have never owned a home, and have even spurned the idea for the most part. Observer’s have offered the following reasons for our home ownership avoidance: must not have enough money, they’ve got plans to move, they’ll buy when they have kids, or a desire to not “put roots down”, whatever that means. Well, although there may be hints of truth in all of the conjecture, these really are not the reasons we have opted to live in a borrowed home.

Our true reason usually goes unsaid for fear of sounding self-righteous, but now that we’re buying, I guess we feel the freedom to say what we have been thinking. It is always easier to go public with finger pointing when the target includes you.

I think we each have our own reasons that somehow comingle to formulate what we think as a couple- always dangerous to speak for your spouse…but here goes: Ginny would describe it as a strong desire to not be a woman who is typified by “talking about curtains”. The tightwad that I am, would point to America’s wasteful consumerism and propensity to buy things we cannot afford. I hate debt. Feels like a chokehold. Scripture has some things to say about debt as well (believe me, I have heard all of the many reasons why buying a house is o.k., I am doing it remember).

Although I shun the curtain explanation as a little feminine, I think Ginny better describes the way we approach the whole thing. I don’t want to be average. I don’t want to be typical. If I know that I am fallen and sinful, and believe me I am reminded often, then I think that my default is usually destructive. So, Ginny and I have always committed to being atypical. Not for different’s sake. But because we know that what comes easy to us must be questioned and examined, lest we follow our own lead and end up precisely where we do not want to go.

And this is why we do not want to buy a house.

However, as we have conversed on this subject, we have come to realize what many of you are already thinking….it is not about the house. It is about the heart. And we know our weak hearts enough to know that a step toward normal could end in submission. It is not our strength that requires things such as home purchases to be mulled over to this extent. It is our weakness.

Another factor, yet untold, for moving from our current rent house is one that you may not understand. It is where eliot lived: we prayed on our knees for him on this floor, we brought him through this door, he slept in this room. All of his life was in this house. The thought of leaving is a tough one.

It was facing this proposition that cemented the notion that all of this has nothing to do with a house. Whether it be buying a new one or having to leave one that holds what will forever be our greatest memories, the soul rises above all.

Thus, in our hearts may we battle as never before to be atypical, because Christ has a call on all of those he seeks that is anything but normal. And may we relish with wide smiles every memory that can never be taken away.

A few pics..

2009-02-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

7 Posts in 7 Days starts on Monday.

Before then, I thought I would throw in a bonus post. Here are some pictures. I probably should apologize in advance. Ginny & I attended an 80's party. You probably could have figured that out.

Ketchup

2009-02-18T15:29:00.000-08:00

Miss Thing’s 4-month checkup is in the past. She is loving grabbing here toes lately, and is showing sure signs of genius by rolling over early. We like to say that we can now describe her as “sweet”. This label was not appropriate for the first 3 months of her life. She smiles, laughs, and drools quite a bit. And I must say, she is quite a looker.

Ginny is loving life. She actually described waking up and having that “heart racing” feeling that a preteen may be expected to have when the Jonas Brothers take the stage, as the way she felt about waking up on a typical day and getting to be mom to our precious gal.

Me? I am seeing the haze that has been life lately. I think this recognition might signal that I am coming out of it. No complaints. Not a spiritual drought or a low-point- although, both could describe glimpses of the whole picture. It has just been a little wild as of late. That feeling that I am behind in every area of life has constantly tailed me.

All this, knowing that anytime I feel the least bit morose on any subject, I dismiss it as quite ridiculous. Having been to what I will affectionately call the pit of Hell, most anything else pails in comparison and seems not to deserve the thought or effort to work through.

Wow, I am not sure I knew this until I just wrote it. Well, now you and I both know. I am sure this is some sort of syndrome or the like, but please don’t tell me about it. Naivety is bliss when you have issues.

I am deadset on reviving this blog. Or at least quit acting like I am going to blog and not doing so. So I propose a little something-something.

I am going to post 7 posts in 7 days. I know that is right up there with the passage of the stimulus bill. Please hold your exuberance.

It will force me to be creative, and who knows, maybe it will be fun. Or I will fail. That could be fun as well.

But come back on Monday and Tuesday and….you get the idea.

She is growing....and beautiful

2009-01-09T18:04:00.001-08:00

Here are a few pics of Miss Thing.

Thoughts from Shots....the elusive line of exposure.

2008-12-18T11:21:00.001-08:00

Thanks for the patience. I think one of my many New Year’s resolutions will to be write more frequently. Writing forces me to sit and trace a thought miles further than I ever would have. Often I am thankful for the destination to which I arrive- sometimes not. I have not attained the maturity to appreciate a jaunt that winds up with facing my own shortcomings. No matter the arrival point, always better for the frolic.

Hazel is smiling, cooing, and growing. Just last night she set a personal record for sleeptime. We have encouraged her that records are made to be broken. Needless to say. she is awesome.

Ginny is knee-deep in filling Christmas orders. She has surrounded herself with some great friends and co-workers who have allowed her to carry on the jewelry business with both hands on Hazel. Words cannot convey how fun it has been to see her actively mother again. She smiles a lot these days- even at 1am, 3am, and 5am.

We are heading to Lake Providence for Christmas with Ginny’s family. Therefore, I am taking bets on the number of times I turn down the opportunity to hunt. And with that one sentence, I offended an entire town. Should be a great time. By far, Hazel’s longest road trip. I’m sure there will be stories.

I continue to promise that this blog will include things that are a little more out of the box of what I have blogged about in the past. I intend to widen the scope of things I put on here by throwing out a thought, video or something I just thought was funny. This must be the goal because if I wait on a good thought, I am afraid this blog will quickly become annual.

With that said, more of the same.

Ginny, Hazel and I bundled up and ventured out to Hazel’s 2-month appointment yesterday. We approached this visit with great excitement as well as hesitation. On one hand, it was a normal 2-month appointment. That is amazing, and very exciting. On the other hand, we knew they were coming. Shots.

We had never done a round of shots. And we were fine with that. The experience of losing a child tends to push you one way or the other- middle ground now seems unattainable. Either we will be parents who worry about everything. Every fall. Every cough. Every germ. Every time we’re not around. And who could blame us? Or we will be parents who worry about very little. “Oh the flu? She’ll be fine in a couple of days.”

Honestly, I am not sure where we’ll land. But I hope it’s somewhere that acknowledges that we are not in control. If we were, he would be here.

For those of you who know me, be proud. I did not embarrass Ginny by threatening the nurse with a lawsuit or with death if she were to appear to screw anything up. This is actually not a joke. I have come so far.

And as three shots penetrated the legs of my baby girl, I saw it all unfold before me. The elusive line of parenting. A brief synopsis of all the inner-struggle that raising this little girl would be.

Because here is the truth about immunization shots. The Dr. is giving a small amount of something terrible to my daughter. The effects of polio are horrible. And there lies Hazel- introduced to a world with pain. If not fully understood yesterday, it will not take long for her to ascertain that although this world contains glimpses of beauty, it is not nice.

And the elusive line beckons. How will we parent Hazel? I know my default. I will gladly die in order to protect this girl. I want to keep any and all things far from her that would cause her the least bit of pain- emotional or physical. Yet, there I stand and allow another to cause pain and infuse my daughter with disease.

Because, what comes natural is not always best. Immunizing inflicts pain today to deter greater pain tomorrow. Introduction in small amounts allows the body to build up resistance.

In the same way, I want my daughter to rub shoulders with the world. I want her to taste the hurts, shortcomings, and pain of this world. I want her to know need. See need. Understand need. This is nice to type, but follow through will prove tough. I will be battling my default.

Where the line falls of that which I hope she is introduced to, and that which I hope she is never introduced to, is the elusive part. Many times it seems that the goal of parenting is total safety. This communicates many things- foremost that we are in control. Thus need becomes a foreign idea.

But this is a fallen world. Desperately in need. May my words and actions convey nothing less. I hope not to run or hideout or seek, at all costs, to avoid the pain. Instead, may I allow my daughter to see things as they are, even if that is terrible. And may the taste and pain of this world create in her an insatiable desire for something better.

I resolve to seek the line. It’s always easier to not wrestle with demarcation, and just keep it all out. But lack of immunization to the world produces those bewildered at life’s toughest lessons. And the pain of this world is coming. I cannot stop it. But I will be there at its introduction because it is I who allowed entry- in the smallest possible dosage that will achieve the objective.

So, I am thankful for theses thoughts that came from shots. If nothing else, it was these thoughts coming fast and furious that allowed me to not physically harm the nurse.

I welcome comments. And feel free to posts in the comments ways that you have seen this introduction done in effective ways or ineffective ways.

Tinkering

2008-12-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

Ginny is good. Hazel is beautiful. More to come.

Sorry about posting the video again. I am exploring video podcasts, more for my knowledge then anything.

However, feedburner is up and working.

More soon.

Acts Video

2008-12-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

We're not that great

2008-11-23T20:47:00.000-08:00

If the size of this post is daunting, please skip to the bottom and read what I am encouraging you to do.

Well, I would apologize for the delay in updating the blog, but it would be insincere. We have been focused on incorporating Hazel into our lives, and it has been a fun challenge that does not afford much time for reflection- or going to the bathroom for that matter.

Thanks to all of you who have recently gotten in touch with us and shared your own story. We greatly appreciate it. I do apologize for the wonderful e-mails and calls that have not received a reply. Apparently a lot of folks watch Oprah. Please do not confuse our lack of response with a lack of desire to respond.

I am striving to make this blog about things other than just my family. However, this week I fail because, for now, this is what I am learning.

Within the thousands of e-mails, letters, and blog comments that we have received there have been a few common themes. One of them is something to the effect of commenting on how great Ginny and I are- either we were the greatest parents, or so wise to enjoy the time we were given, or my favorite- how we are “great Christians”- whatever that means.

While we really do appreciate the gesture, we constantly remind folks that the video was only 6 minutes long. Also, for some reason, the guys at IgniterMedia didn’t seem to focus the video on my problem with pride, lust, and just basic sin. This is not an attempt to feign humility and therefore really do the opposite. It’s just the pent up grimaces and desire to set the record straight.

One of the many powerful things that have impacted various parents about Eliot’s story is the encouragement to slow down and hug your kids; however, the lesson has often been misinterpreted when others think that we have somehow overcome this very struggle simply because we have been taught otherwise. Although the lesson has been learned, we strive to apply it each and every day.

So, here’s an update for all of you who have felt like lousy parents after seeing our story. We’re right there with ya. Just days after Oprah, and awash in e-mails of how we were the ideal parents. I woke up. I woke up mad. I was frustrated with this little girl who would not allow me or her mother to get over one hour of sleep. Not the “ahh schucks” frustrated. I mean really angry. It was the first time I had felt this. I am sure it will not be the last. It then took about 5 minutes for me to begin to feel like something I hate to step in. And I talked to God about it, and He forgave me.

I actually never imagined that I would feel this toward a child of mine. Especially in light of what we have walked through. But I did. So there. If anything is great about my parenting, I am pretty sure it is not me.

I am Israel. Always forgetting what I already learned. We are truly battling to live in light of what we know. Not always easy as the defaults attempt to wade back into our lives with this new little one.

__________________

We recently had the opportunity to “dedicate” Hazel before our church. It was really pretty fun, and somewhat emotional for both Gin and I. We had never done that. Here was the voice over that we read as her picture was behind was up on the screen:

“Hazel Emerson Mooney. You are one amazing girl. It is proven by the fact that you got your mom up on this stage. She hates that.

You are our second child and are so we honored to get to know you more each day from here on.

Please be patient with us…as we have love for 2 just waiting to be poured out on you.

Although your birth was amazing, we pray and await your 2nd birth when you will begin to walk with our Savior.

Our prayer is that He would enable us to parent you in light of the lessons He has taught us…most importantly that you are not ours, but His.

We love you. He loves you.

Job 1:21 God gives. God takes. God’s name ever be blessed.”

___________________

A shout out to the mothers…

I want to make you aware of something that I think is pretty cool. A husband (who will remain anonymous) is doing something really cool for his wife for Christmas. You can read all the details here.

Basically, out of an agreed conviction from his family that they will not spend money on Christmas this year, rather, they plan to set the amount of money they would have spent aside and give it away. Thus, this means that gifts are required to not cost him money.

He is asking for mothers to write a letter to another mother. He is gathering all of these letters and giving them as a gift to his wife (if you participate, he will give you the end product as well).

Here’s the thing. What will make this project special is mothers who are willing to be gut-level honest in their assessment of motherhood as they know it. The more honest, the better. I don’t do this often…OK, never. But I am asking you to do a couple of things:

1.) Spread the word…Tell the moms in your world to participate (e-mails, blogs, etc.) This really only works if the word is spread.

2.) Write a letter….I think the process of doing this for mothers is the appeal. Anything that forces you to think back and reflect on what you have gathered along the way, is a good thing. And we have been witness to the fact that your own story- when told- can allow others to believe that their world is not as lonely as they once thought.

OK, enough car salesman, go do it.

http://www.motherletter.blogspot.com/

I know, I know. Pictures will come.

Oprah II

2008-10-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, as if you haven't gotten enough of us, looks like we may be doing an update on the Oprah Live show this Friday (October 31). So tune in if you are so inclined.

Believe it or not...

2008-10-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

We are attempting to get the word out to our friends since we know they will kill us if we do not tell them. With no further ado:

Oprah is doing a segment on Eliot on the show coming up on Tuesday, October 28 (this date could change, and we'll let you know if it does). The show is on "Miracle children" and Eliot is the only one not still on this earth. Honestly, at first we were hesitant when approached with the whole idea. However, having already taped the show, we feel honored to tell Eliot's story through this platform. The Oprah crew did a great job throughout of simply telling Eliot's story and nothing else. And we are appreciative to them for the opportunity.

So, spread the word if you want, and tune in as the Lord continues to take a little boy and make Himself known.

Acts introduction Video

2008-10-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

We are loving every second of life these days. Thanks to all of you who have checked in and written. We'll be writing more about life soon.

Below is an introduction video that a friend of mine and I did (echolite link on the side) to introduce the teaching on Acts.

Introduction to Acts from Matt Mooney on Vimeo.

Beauty is hard to capture...

2008-10-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

but we did it.

Hazel Emerson Mooney

2008-10-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

There's a new girl in the family! All went amazingly well. 7 lbs. 8 ounces! She is beautiful and doing great. Thanks for all the prayers. Pictures will be coming. Thanks be to the Lord.

Vote

2008-10-12T15:44:00.001-07:00

Sure there's an election coming up, but let us know over on the right whether you think we're having a boy or girl. Better hurry, you only have until Tuesday!

Won't be Long

2008-10-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hello good people. Well, as foretold, we took a little blog break. Thanks so much to all of you who have encouraged us along the way. This is our new blog. I felt it best to leave Eliot’s blog as it is. Without intention on our part, his blog has become a place all its own. The story of his life unfolds in each post, and the impact of that life goes on both in us and in others. So it will remain there. A monument of sorts to our boy.

Now with that said, we are not “moving on”, and really have no desire to do so. Eliot is as much apart of our lives now as ever. It is different, but it is true. We look forward to introducing this new child to his or her older brother- through pictures, video, and story.

So here we are. A new blog. I assure you this blog won’t be as good, and I will be exposed for not being as interesting as you thought when I had Eliot to recount to you. The name is intentionally ridiculous. Admittedly, I liked it when I thought of it, but that wore off in about 15 minutes. Alas, I couldn’t come up with anything else. Plus, it rhymes, is funny, and uses big words. So, if you don’t like it just assume that it is beyond your intellectual capacity or you just don’t get it.

Now on to the update. We’re having a baby! Ginny shares a trait with most of our movie rentals- overdue. She was due on Friday (October 10), but no one told Baby. Other than threats to run until labor begins, Ginny is all smiles and willing to trust the timing to one other than us. We will be induced on Tuesday (October 14) if God & Baby don’t pull a fast one. We cannot wait! We’ll be sure to put some picture up here as soon as we are able.

In appreciation of your valuable time, here is what has happened in the interim: I took the bar, passed and started a couple of jobs. Ginny has been busy making jewelry and making a person.

I am attempting to straddle of couple of worlds by working with our church and also doing some business consulting. Although neither really focuses on any aspect of law, it is precisely what I think I wanted. Unorthodox it is, but are you really surprised? Either the Lord is good by giving me my desire or He’s about to teach me that I really do not know what I want when I think I do- I guess He could still be good if that were the case.

The time it has taken to make this person who is hanging out in my wife has really been an enigma for both Ginny & I. Many friends and acquaintances have asked what it is like, and I must admit I do not know how to answer that question. We are so excited, but. That’s just it, it seems that life has now dealt us a “but”.

But we know that the joy this child is and will be cannot erase the ache. And what an unfair expectation to burden this child with if we thought otherwise.
But we know that things can happen.
But we know that trusting God does not equate with safety.
But we know that new stages of grief lie ahead of us as God-willing this child sees his or her 100th day, as well as every milestone we did not reach with Eliot: 1st steps, 1st words, prom.
And this worldview is not something that is going away. Nor do we pray that it does.

Because the truth remains that this viewpoint is not merely pessimistic or sad. We now see more clearly. The image has come further into view. And just because we do not always like what we see, that does not mean we ask that the picture become fuzzy again. Naivety is not bliss.

There have been many fears along the way that we have sought to battle. We pray and ask the Lord that we not walk in fear. And I must say that I think He has heard our cry. It has been a process, but we have been protected from many concerns that can consume. It cannot be normal to dread an ultrasound. And we joined Him in battling.

However, there remains something. Not fear. Because it is my deep-held conviction that God desires to remove fear. But this thing that remains, He is not taking away. And why would He. It is He who put it there.

That something, that “but” are spectacles of clarity. I think we see things as they are. We are not guaranteed or even owed that this child’s birth and life go smoothly (even though our Dr. jokingly comments that her faith hinges on it). In fact, if we want to count on something it must be that some things we hope against are coming.

This life is wild and terrible at times. But thanks be to the God who is in control and is with us. For we see more clearly, and we cannot wait for this child!

Some of Ginny's recent thoughts

2008-10-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Ginny has been doing some writing & blogging, but she has no desire for others to actually read her thoughts. The joy for her is solely in recording them. With that said, due to my begging, she allowed me to share a few on here. Oh yeah, and she doesn't capitalize.

the safe myth
(friday. august 29, 2008)

my in-laws are wonderful people. not long ago the family went out to this local mexican spot to grab some dinner. the whole group was there: my husband, his parents, his sister & her 2 little girls. as is routine in restaurants, we got seated, the waiter took our drink order then made his way back to take the meal order. then, as is routine with my in-laws, my mother-in-law pulls her purse into her lap & begins to search for it. my father-in-law is looking, in anxious anticipation of it. it is of vital importance to their dining experience & i have never seen them eat out without it. then, she finds it & sets it as a centerpiece on the table.
the travel size bottle of anti-bacterial hand gel, claiming to kill up to 99.9 percent of germs.
she coats herself with it, then he coats himself with it & they attempt to get everyone at the table to coat themselves with it. there truly is nothing like the aromas of alcohol & sizzling fajitas colliding together. i politely decline.
i can only speculate on how the restaurant gel routine came about. maybe my father-in-law saw a very convincing commercial or possibly my mother-in-law had a friend tell her of the preventative powers of the gel. regardless of how they got there, they have their gel. i guess we all have our gel. something that makes us feel better about the inevitable "germs" that are out there in the world. i would venture to say that for most, the deep-rooted issue of the "gel" is one of fear intermingled with control. we fear something, something we don't like or would be unpleasant for us & that fear leads us to think we just have to control the situation to make it right or clean or safe or healthy or better. it's sort of like when we learned about "if-then" clauses in grade school.
if i put on this hand gel, then i will not eat germs.
if i have a net on a trampoline, then i can bounce & not get hurt.
if we pass laws against abortion & homosexuality, then the country will be morally "safe".
if i eat right & exercise, then i will not get cancer.
if i study & search enough, then i have it all figured out.
i have no problem with any of those things. they are wonderful things. safety nets, hand gels, healthy lifestyle, knowledge, laws speak of responsibility & stewardship, both of which i am a huge fan & both of which honor God. my issue is not with the "if"s, but with the "then"s. we have this tendency in our western comfortable culture to hang our hat on those "then"s. everyone feels above them, the harm, hurt, accidents, pain, sickness, death that is a natural part of our mortal lives & the fallen world in which we live. we feel above it all because when the fear of those things creep in, we go into super control mode. more hand gel! taller nets! a newer vitamin! harder helmets! i can control this fear! i can make my world safe!
the truth is that the Creator of us, of the universe, of all that we are & see & experience is the only One in control. He is the only one that redeemed what went wrong in the garden on the cross. He is the only One that sees past the momentary "unsafety" & hurt to the character being built in us in adversity. not us, we can not make all things right or safe & believe a lie when we think we can. only One can....and does.
i am no expert on the matter & in fact more times than i'd prefer, i give into that sneaky lie. for instance, nearly 3 years ago this "if-then" statement was floating around in my mind as matt & i thought about starting a family.

if i do everything right while i'm pregnant, then i will have a healthy baby.

a few months later, i was pregnant & i did everything right. i drank no caffeine. i didn't drink alcohol. i didn't smoke or get near anyone who did. i took a prenatal vitamin every day. i exercised just enough, not too much & not too little. i drank a ton of water. i ate foods rich in vitamins & folic acid & dha's & steered away from fast food. my showers were never too hot. i never lifted anything remotely heavy. i got plenty of rest, never lying on my back. i made sure to not stand for too long or sit for too long. yep, i went through every "if" you could think of or read about. yet still, God Himself held in His hand my "then". my "then" was not a healthy baby. my "then" was a sweet beautiful, amazing, sick baby boy who lived for 99 days.
thinking we can do enough to be safe & do enough for our kids to keep them safe is simply a myth. only One holds our days in His hands.

"for YOU have delivered my soul from death, indeed my feet from stumbling, so that I may walk before God in the light of the living". Psalm 56:13
________________________
funny thing about fear
(monday, june 9 2008)

so it's been since february that i've posted anything. which, in reality doesn't matter because if all goes as i'd like with this little blog it serves as only a place where the nomadic thoughts in my head actually have a temporal residence. as strange as it sounds, my desire is for no one to even read it...

so, the big thing right now in my life is that i am currently in the process of growing another person inside of me. that's right i'm pregnant. i am 21 weeks, which i must always stop & do the math to know that i am just about 5 months along. in october, eliot will have a little brother or sister. it's been so long now since eliot was here with us. 1 year & 8 months since i have held him. not every day, but most i want to scream to everyone around of the great ache that is still deep within my heart. i step past pictures of him that line our shelves & am so weary of remembering. i want to touch him & be with him. i don't know what people think & i am not concerned with their opinions of me...but it seems as if they think that now that so much time has gone by & now that we are expecting another baby that everything is okay. everything is not okay. this pregnancy & this little baby forming in my womb is another leg of grief, of the missing eliot. it is no replacement. no words can express the difficulty & uniqueness of being pregnant with your second child when the first is no longer here. the journey is filled with hope & expectation, fear & anxiety, joy of new life intermixed with the lingering pain of life lost. this child will only know his or her older brother by pictures & the stories we tell of his amazing life. in a way this child will enter into life with some form of grief already there to deal with. what will it be like for him or her to grieve & miss eliot?

matt & i go into this pregnancy with a distinct past. we are 1 for 1 for having unhealthy children. we are 1 for 1 for losing a child. with those stats, some fear is inevitable. we fight it daily & pray, trusting, that God is fighting this battle for us. the funny thing when i think about fear is what in the world do i have to fear? nothing. i have walked through every parent's absolute worst nightmare and yet i sit here as somewhat of a survivor. a survivor whom Christ has carried through each moment. i realize that doesn't mean i want to walk through it again. i also realize it doesn't exempt me from walking through it again.

"for i hope in You, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God" Psalm 38:15

posted by ginny mooney at 11:30 am
_____________________
normal
(thursday, january 10, 2008)

after my husband & i had been married for a few years, we looked around at our lives & the lives of those we knew & were convinced of one sole desire. we did not want our lives to be "normal". what does that even mean? at the time, we had no idea. our thoughts were basically we don't know what we want, but we know what we don't:
we don't want a picket fence life.
we don't want to keep up with the jones'.
we don't want our conversations with people to center around our new car or curtains.

so, on these random thoughts, we began praying for a life that was not normal.
as those prayers went up & time went on, other "not normal" thoughts came. i told my husband one day that i had a pressing feeling that we, at one point or another in our life together, would have a special needs child. his response was at the very least deprecation. after all, we hadn't started a family yet & what kind of feeling is that for a young married couple? each time that thought surfaced, i successfully dismissed it as a possible foreshadowing of a distant future. maybe kid #5, when we were advanced in years & could love him or her in our old age along with all of our other children. i pictured the sweet face of a chid with down syndrome or maybe a wheelchair? what i didn't know was what i never could have pictured.

fast forward a few more years & i'm pregnant, at the halfway point. we pop in the ultrasound video to show the eager audience of family. the black & white portrait of the little one inside my belly tosses & turns on the screen. we, the proud mom & dad to-be, describe the details of crossed legs, spine, face, profile, beating 4 chamber heart, of the floating star of the show. as we narrate, we leave out a few particulars. like how most umbilical cords have 3 blood vessels & this one only has 2...& how those black blobs in the brain are actually cysts that are sometimes "normal" & sometimes not. a few months and many pounds later a specialist sat us down & said "things had progressed".

what we got was not normal. it wasn't the way we had pictured a not normal life, i mean we wanted no picket fences for petes sake. it wasn't even a special needs child to love & live a long life with. in an instant "not normal" was actually "not viable with life". it was a baby with a beating heart that had a hole in it, clenched fists, & sweet life inside my own that was terminally ill. we knew all this bad news about this kid before we even knew if it was a boy or girl.

it was a boy. his name was eliot. he was awesome & i believe is even better now. the 99 days he was with us were incredible, miraculous really. i spent 3 months & 10 days staring at the cutest "not normal" there ever was.
he left us for the much better 15 months ago. in his absence, my husband & i live with a constant ache in our hearts of missing him. this blog is about my learning to live with that ache.

an author named jerry sittser talks about how loss & saddness actually expand the soul. this is my journey of expansion.