Hello good people. Well, as foretold, we took a little blog break. Thanks so much to all of you who have encouraged us along the way. This is our new blog. I felt it best to leave Eliot’s blog as it is. Without intention on our part, his blog has become a place all its own. The story of his life unfolds in each post, and the impact of that life goes on both in us and in others. So it will remain there. A monument of sorts to our boy.
Now with that said, we are not “moving on”, and really have no desire to do so. Eliot is as much apart of our lives now as ever. It is different, but it is true. We look forward to introducing this new child to his or her older brother- through pictures, video, and story.
So here we are. A new blog. I assure you this blog won’t be as good, and I will be exposed for not being as interesting as you thought when I had Eliot to recount to you. The name is intentionally ridiculous. Admittedly, I liked it when I thought of it, but that wore off in about 15 minutes. Alas, I couldn’t come up with anything else. Plus, it rhymes, is funny, and uses big words. So, if you don’t like it just assume that it is beyond your intellectual capacity or you just don’t get it.
Now on to the update. We’re having a baby! Ginny shares a trait with most of our movie rentals- overdue. She was due on Friday (October 10), but no one told Baby. Other than threats to run until labor begins, Ginny is all smiles and willing to trust the timing to one other than us. We will be induced on Tuesday (October 14) if God & Baby don’t pull a fast one. We cannot wait! We’ll be sure to put some picture up here as soon as we are able.
In appreciation of your valuable time, here is what has happened in the interim: I took the bar, passed and started a couple of jobs. Ginny has been busy making jewelry and making a person.
I am attempting to straddle of couple of worlds by working with our church and also doing some business consulting. Although neither really focuses on any aspect of law, it is precisely what I think I wanted. Unorthodox it is, but are you really surprised? Either the Lord is good by giving me my desire or He’s about to teach me that I really do not know what I want when I think I do- I guess He could still be good if that were the case.
The time it has taken to make this person who is hanging out in my wife has really been an enigma for both Ginny & I. Many friends and acquaintances have asked what it is like, and I must admit I do not know how to answer that question. We are so excited, but. That’s just it, it seems that life has now dealt us a “but”.
But we know that the joy this child is and will be cannot erase the ache. And what an unfair expectation to burden this child with if we thought otherwise.
But we know that things can happen.
But we know that trusting God does not equate with safety.
But we know that new stages of grief lie ahead of us as God-willing this child sees his or her 100th day, as well as every milestone we did not reach with Eliot: 1st steps, 1st words, prom.
And this worldview is not something that is going away. Nor do we pray that it does.
Because the truth remains that this viewpoint is not merely pessimistic or sad. We now see more clearly. The image has come further into view. And just because we do not always like what we see, that does not mean we ask that the picture become fuzzy again. Naivety is not bliss.
There have been many fears along the way that we have sought to battle. We pray and ask the Lord that we not walk in fear. And I must say that I think He has heard our cry. It has been a process, but we have been protected from many concerns that can consume. It cannot be normal to dread an ultrasound. And we joined Him in battling.
However, there remains something. Not fear. Because it is my deep-held conviction that God desires to remove fear. But this thing that remains, He is not taking away. And why would He. It is He who put it there.
That something, that “but” are spectacles of clarity. I think we see things as they are. We are not guaranteed or even owed that this child’s birth and life go smoothly (even though our Dr. jokingly comments that her faith hinges on it). In fact, if we want to count on something it must be that some things we hope against are coming.
This life is wild and terrible at times. But thanks be to the God who is in control and is with us. For we see more clearly, and we cannot wait for this child!