Sunday, October 12, 2008

Won't be Long

Hello good people. Well, as foretold, we took a little blog break. Thanks so much to all of you who have encouraged us along the way. This is our new blog. I felt it best to leave Eliot’s blog as it is. Without intention on our part, his blog has become a place all its own. The story of his life unfolds in each post, and the impact of that life goes on both in us and in others. So it will remain there. A monument of sorts to our boy.

Now with that said, we are not “moving on”, and really have no desire to do so. Eliot is as much apart of our lives now as ever. It is different, but it is true. We look forward to introducing this new child to his or her older brother- through pictures, video, and story.

So here we are. A new blog. I assure you this blog won’t be as good, and I will be exposed for not being as interesting as you thought when I had Eliot to recount to you. The name is intentionally ridiculous. Admittedly, I liked it when I thought of it, but that wore off in about 15 minutes. Alas, I couldn’t come up with anything else. Plus, it rhymes, is funny, and uses big words. So, if you don’t like it just assume that it is beyond your intellectual capacity or you just don’t get it.

Now on to the update. We’re having a baby! Ginny shares a trait with most of our movie rentals- overdue. She was due on Friday (October 10), but no one told Baby. Other than threats to run until labor begins, Ginny is all smiles and willing to trust the timing to one other than us. We will be induced on Tuesday (October 14) if God & Baby don’t pull a fast one. We cannot wait! We’ll be sure to put some picture up here as soon as we are able.

In appreciation of your valuable time, here is what has happened in the interim: I took the bar, passed and started a couple of jobs. Ginny has been busy making jewelry and making a person.

I am attempting to straddle of couple of worlds by working with our church and also doing some business consulting. Although neither really focuses on any aspect of law, it is precisely what I think I wanted. Unorthodox it is, but are you really surprised? Either the Lord is good by giving me my desire or He’s about to teach me that I really do not know what I want when I think I do- I guess He could still be good if that were the case.

The time it has taken to make this person who is hanging out in my wife has really been an enigma for both Ginny & I. Many friends and acquaintances have asked what it is like, and I must admit I do not know how to answer that question. We are so excited, but. That’s just it, it seems that life has now dealt us a “but”.

But we know that the joy this child is and will be cannot erase the ache. And what an unfair expectation to burden this child with if we thought otherwise.
But we know that things can happen.
But we know that trusting God does not equate with safety.
But we know that new stages of grief lie ahead of us as God-willing this child sees his or her 100th day, as well as every milestone we did not reach with Eliot: 1st steps, 1st words, prom.
And this worldview is not something that is going away. Nor do we pray that it does.

Because the truth remains that this viewpoint is not merely pessimistic or sad. We now see more clearly. The image has come further into view. And just because we do not always like what we see, that does not mean we ask that the picture become fuzzy again. Naivety is not bliss.

There have been many fears along the way that we have sought to battle. We pray and ask the Lord that we not walk in fear. And I must say that I think He has heard our cry. It has been a process, but we have been protected from many concerns that can consume. It cannot be normal to dread an ultrasound. And we joined Him in battling.

However, there remains something. Not fear. Because it is my deep-held conviction that God desires to remove fear. But this thing that remains, He is not taking away. And why would He. It is He who put it there.

That something, that “but” are spectacles of clarity. I think we see things as they are. We are not guaranteed or even owed that this child’s birth and life go smoothly (even though our Dr. jokingly comments that her faith hinges on it). In fact, if we want to count on something it must be that some things we hope against are coming.

This life is wild and terrible at times. But thanks be to the God who is in control and is with us. For we see more clearly, and we cannot wait for this child!

15 comments:

andee said...

Praying for a wonderful, faith-filled birth!

The McDons said...

I'm glad you are blogging again! I've been checking Eliot's page lately to see if you had started up again. I pray that everything goes great in the birth of your baby! God Bless!

the Hansels said...

So excited for you two, this is one blessed little baby to have you as parents!

Corie said...

What a great post. I lost my son in January of this year...you have expressed so well your love for this baby as well as your continuous love for Eliott and the life he gave to you,to all of us. I can't wait to see the pictures of your second child. They will be blessed by his/her brothers story and his/her parents!

Lisa (Myers) Hartsfield said...

I cannot wait to see some pics!!!

As I said in an email, you will not forget, nor do you want to, but it will be ever so sweet. I remember a million things running through my head, both good and not so great. Birth after a loss truly teaches you to soak up every moment because nothing is guaranteed. I always say that my boys have special angels rooting them on.

Hope tomorrow is filled with as much peace as possible and that your strength will prevail.

Much prayer...

Lisa Hartsfield
Mansfield, TX

Laura said...

I am so excited to find that you are blogging again! And I think you do yourself an injustice by not owning up to the title "spectacular vernacular." I think you are an excellent writer!

Soooo thrilled to hear of this new little one. Can't wait to see pictures and hear how God adds healing with this new life.

Laurie said...

It is so GREAT to see you here and know that soon, this new little blessing will be here with you. I am praying for a beautiful day in the delivery room as you meet this new life!!! It has been such a blessing to follow Eliots' story and have it change my life. He left his footprints on my heart. Eliot will never be replaced or forgotten. His life takes up so much room in the heart. This new baby will just share that room.

Love and Prayers, Laurie in Ca.

Julie said...

Sending many, many prayers for the safe arrival of your little one. I've thought of you two so much recently, not knowing when the baby was due. Reading through many of Ginny's words (and yours, too, Matt) were like they were coming from my heart. I lost twins in my first pregnancy at 5 months. While I have since been blessed with 3 boys (including 2 of them being twins), I am thankful for those blessings...but like you have stated - it doesn't take away the grief. I think of my first children, my Devin and Elizabeth, and grieve for all I am missing with them. Thank you for sharing so much of your heart.

Can't wait to see pictures of your new arrival.

The Hargett Family said...

Matt & Ginny - I was just thinking about you today - Sandra said last week that you'd have the baby by today - so watching, waiting, and praying for you both and can't wait to see God's plan continue to unfold for you both with this new life.

Praying for a safe delivery of your new baby!

<>< Kristen Hargett

It's a Mom Thing said...

Just a lurker wanting to tell you Congrats on your sweet Hazel! I found your blog via MommyLife and am rejoicing with you in this new life. I pray she will be as encouraged and touched by the life her big brother lived as much as the rest of us are.

Sarah said...

Congratulations on you baby girl!!!! We don't know each other... but I have prayed for you before (and ever since Eliot)... I am so happy to see you back in the bloggy world! :) You are such a great writer. and I am sure you have touched many people though your story! I am so happy you are "back!" :)
Love & Prayers,
Sarah Houston

Chelle' said...

So glad your family has this additional blog. I look forward to reading it and catching up on the many blessings of God in your lives.

Welcome baby Hazel. What a precious gift you are to your family.

I'll be watching Oprah on Halloween. Sure hope to see Hazel all aglow!!! :)

Hugs to you both Ginny and Matt. Still praying for you all!

Mommato6 said...

I saw your video on Eliot yesterday and it is truly remarkable. I admire your strength and perseverance through everything. My daughter passed unexpectedly after her birth and it's so hard to live with and hold onto your faith. We are trying though.

Monica said...

I am so happy I found your blog!! Can't wait to follow your adventures!

Anonymous said...

I want to thank you for your amazing documentary on Eliot's life. 99 Balloons touched me in ways that I did not believe possible. Congratulations on baby Hazel's birth. And thank you again for your life changing video, you are truely remarkable people.