Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The leash is longer

MM: At our Dr.'s appointment last week, after 9 weeks of complete bed rest, Ginny was given the green light to get off the couch for "1 to 2 hours a day." Needless to say, she is quite happy with this turn of events; she was most excited to be able to cook a meal.

Ginny still cannot be left alone with Hazel; so, her life changing freedom hours have not equated to much change on my end. Our friends and family are a constant at our house. They've got to be tired of us, but they show no signs of giving up yet.

Twenty-eight weeks down, and each week that passes with no delivery is a great thing. We are deeply immersed in what for us has been a 7 month conversation- what will we name this little guy or gal? The list is narrowing, and no we're not telling you.

Obviously, I have been a little quiet as for my take on this whole bed rest journey. There's plenty to say, but very little opportunity to sit down and write it. For me, it pretty much all boils down to an epic lesson in how unbelievably selfish I can be. Your wife on bed rest pretty much forces you to be the guy you wish you were- you serve your wife & you get to be the dad that you always hoped you could be. So, in practice, I am doing the stuff that saints are made of. However, I would quite prefer to perform these righteous acts without all the frustration, fatigue, and mental cussing. I'm doing all the right things, but struggling to do it excellently.

I pretty much cannot relate to my male peers these days. They want to talk fantasy football & razorback victories while I sit wondering why she woke up at 5am and contemplating adding another snack before putting her to bed. The ongoing joke is that I only lack mammary glands. I gravitate to working mothers and look for opportunities to quiz them on their child's caloric intake.

And I love it. I really do. I love being such a vital part of Hazel's life. I know this season will not last forever. And when it is gone, I will miss it sorely. It is this perspective that leaves me most frustrated when I am not enjoying the process of my current status. I know there is a beautiful fragrance to cherish here, but I smell dirty diapers.

As for Hazel, she is quite a trooper. She's walking, laughing and exerting her will on the world. She's not unaware of what is going on. My getting out the door has become something like an olympic event. Gold medals are awarded when I slip out unnoticed and tears are avoided. And gold medals are a rarity.

The current season of life seems like one of survival for all three of us. But all of it is such a great reminder of lessons learned in days past. We're making it. And baby's coming!


christina said...

i have to comment on the time with Hazel...i just read this last night so it's just on the forefront of my mind and heart and thought it was perfect timing to share with someone....it was just a blurb about how we as parents spend time in the "in between." The author explains that most of the time she is "in between" loving naptime, and risking going in to see if the baby is sleeping, with the hopes of waking baby just to see her smile. I thought that summed up my daily and hourly and sometimes moments by moments. While we require time away to reboot..and that time away is also required for us to be the best parents and spouses we can, it's still a step away from a moment we won't get back. It's quite beautiful that your humanity is so authentic in the struggle to be the perfect dad and husband. Believe me..out here in blog land, we all see the beauty in it. :)

Anonymous said...

Your honesty is refreshing.


The Hull Munchkins said...

I have followed your blog off and on since I came across your beautiful blog about Eliot!

I had to comment b/c I recently finished a very long pregnancy, full of bed rest, shots, nausea/vomiting... all the while watching my husband serve our family!

It was a long haul for all of us, but so very worth it. All of my (3) pregnancies have been high risk. My first child was born at 23 wks and sustained many complications from her early birth. We feel so blessed to have had 2 full term boys to cuddle and take home from the hospital!

Just wanted to send a "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK" high five to ya, and encourage you in this season of your family life.

Lord bless you all.

Monkey Momma said...

I so need to hear this today. I'm struggling with serving in some areas that are just not fun anymore. I'm doing them, just not with the right "heart" frame, if that makes sense. I WANT to...I have many opportunities for "do-overs", but I fail daily at them.

Thank you for your honesty and just reminding me that I am not the only one struggling with aligning my actions and my heart/mind. It feels not so lonely now. :-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, somehow i came across your blog again tonight after seeing/ hearing about precious Eliot a year or so ago and it couldn't have come at a better time for me to appreciate the little things again. Yours is such a touching story, but also such a testament about how our Father Jesus works miracles. He is still working miracles through you and for you four Mooneys today. you are both so truthful and open and God is speaking to so many people thru your story and actions. I just wanted to say as some others have pointed out and as you all know - this too (bedrest) will pass and the reward of the birth of your sweet angel baby #3 is ultimately priceless. I was on bedrest with twins from 22 weeks and made it all the way to 36 and gave birth to a healthy boy (5 lb 2 oz.) and girl (2 lb 7 oz) !!! What a blessing they are and that was 29 months ago!! However, i did not have a toddler to care for, which does add much frustration, i'm sure. Just keep the faith like you are and God will take care of the rest. It will be just a blip on the radar soon enough. thank you so much for sharing your incredible journey with us and for giving all the credit to our Lord and Saviour! To God be the Glory! you are all in my prayers.
from some where in FL and Ginny - i'm sorry, but i just have one more thing to say.... war eagle! :)