the hazel post

gm:

37.5 weeks. it has been a unique pregnancy. a long pregnancy. a new life & new memories are quickly approaching and I can’t wait! the time & affections & attention that I now spend solely on hazel will drastically change. while I can’t begin to imagine how & I fight the “whoa!” overwhelmed feeling, I really can’t wait to meet him or her & begin this new mom journey.

the other day i was telling a friend who hasn’t seen hazel in a long time about her & i found it was good for my soul. so good in fact, that I’m doing it again here. I’m very aware that this is the sort of post that matt, myself & our parents will find fascinating & probably no one else…I’m fine with that. I know without this, I may forget what is going on in this season of her 1 year old life just like how right now I can’t possibly remember what summer feels like or it was like to not be pregnant.

in the delivery room, hazel’s first breath was quickly followed by her first scream. she had these phenomenal lungs. healthy and robust & loud. the first few days of her life we didn’t know if she would do anything but scream. and while we are quick to confess that we had no idea what to do about it, we loved that scream & those lungs. the first night she was at home with us, we tried to get her to sleep in our bed & in the bassinet in our room, but the only place where she actually fell asleep was in her own crib in her own room. i was just trying whatever worked & didn’t see then the independent spirit that was there from the start. her first little “fit” was around 8 months. she was crawling & decided that being still for a diaper change was no longer acceptable. she kicked those rolly polly thighs spastically back and forth in disgust & disapproval of the diaper change. more often than not, this trend continues & she really can’t stand diaper changes & clothes changes. we laugh & sigh & struggle to teach her a different way of dealing & although we don’t know what to do with the hard-headedness she inherited from both of us, we just love it. this independence has been a big part of her whole first year & I always find myself daydreaming about if & how it will play out in the rest of her life. like maybe when that cocky junior high boy goes to grab her hand, she’ll look at him with that same look she gives people who try to get in her face and make her laugh…“seriously? am I really supposed to be impressed with this?”

she’s never been much of a snuggler due to the fact that she just has too much to explore & sitting or hugging would only slow the exploration process down…but lately she’s actually given us the occasional hug or prolonged moment. in light of the previous lack of this attention, matt & I can be found in puddles on the ground when these incredible moments take place. she smiles & laughs, but not all the time because most of the time she’s just too busy contemplating & discovering & laughing at your attempt to get her attention only slows all the discovering down. she does give kisses with that awesome 1 year old interpretation of a kiss that is an open mouth leaning into the subject to be kissed. but don’t get me wrong she doesn’t give you a kiss when you want one, only when she does.

a while back she started barking back at our dog. it’s more of an “oooh, ooooh” sound than a “ruff, ruff” and then instead of just for dogs it became the official noise for all animals. now, she’s added some variety & there are a number of fun animal noises…a cow “moos”, a turkey “begob-begob-begobs”, sheep “baa”, monkeys “aaah-aaah”, lions “ruuuuh”, tigers “guuuuuh”. she loves books & lately will actually let me read them to her. she loves unpacking things from drawers or taking everything out of a wallet or just taking all the toys out of a bin & putting them back in so she can take them out again. it took her 9 months to finally sleep & now she is a great sleeper at night, but is not so fond of the nap. older kids are always a win & when she waves at them from across wal-mart, saying “hiiiiii” & they don’t respond, she looks at me as if to say “what’s their problem?” she talks & jabbers a ton lately. one day she woke up & it’s as if she learned Chinese in her sleep. the words she can really pronounce & say the way an adult says them…she whispers these words…for no apparent reason.

like every kiddo, she is ever-changing & always keeping us guessing & is such a blast to get to know. we love her & count it a gift & honor that God has let us be her parents.