the beach

last week we went on our first ever family vacation. matt, hazel & i loaded up with two other families & drove to florida to spend a few days. it was spectacular...& with 6 adults & 6 kids a bit of beautiful chaos as well. friends, sun, sand, ocean, pool, bikes, games, laughter, the smell of sunscreen & sweat & the feel of the sea breeze. it was a great vacation. yet, as with everything in our lives from here on out, there is the ache of missing eliot. the ache ebbs & flows with the days & seasons. this ache seemed a bit heightened in my heart while on our vacation. when you go as a family of 3 on vacation & you are a family of 4 - the difference, the absence, is felt. it's difficult to explain with words, just like every aspect of grief, of the missing. we drove back on mothers day. the vacation & mothers day were both wonderful & joyous...& sad...& i guess that's the way it goes without him.

here are a few fun in the sun pics.
hazel LOVED the water. she splashed & kicked & had a blast. she also LOVED being around all the other kiddos...she is not nearly as entertained this week.