there's a line from a movie i have never seen that my dear friend often quotes when we are talking about being moms. the mom in this movie looks at her daughter, sighs, & says "impossible love". if you are a mom, my guess is that resonates with you. how can you even describe what loving your kid looks like? what it feels like? it bursts, aches, frustrates, rejoices, thanks, tires, energizes. it can make you feel crazy one moment & more sane than you've ever felt the next. i think about this often as i attempt to mother eliot while missing him. hazel while currently on the couch. #3 while not yet having met him/her.
i think that there is a lot of mommy refining taking place here on this couch. i don't pretend to totally understand all that He is teaching me. but what i do know is that i am not the mom i long to be and it has nothing to do with this bedrest journey.
for about the first 3 weeks of bedrest i didn't have our camera. i wasn't totally sure where i last had it & asking someone to search for the camera was low on the list of all the millions of things other people are daily doing for us. the other day a friend brought his fancy camera by for us to borrow. i am beyond grateful. here are some of the latest pics taken by a mom who loves her kids with that impossible love...
a little...well, a lot...of bonding time with dad lately
side ponytail (& when mom's on bedrest, pants are totally optional)