Sunday, February 22, 2009


7 Posts in 7 Days:
In an effort to regain some blog momentum, we decided to do 7 posts in 7 days. Pathetic, marketing scheme? Of course. Should be fun.

Different Name
Through much cajoling, I have convinced Ginny to join me on this blog. She has been secretly blogging along the way, but desperately hoping no one finds her (her old blog). I do understand. However, we will now both be blogging at this site.

Of course, it will look different. But that is a good thing. I have assured her she can do whatever she wants, which includes recommending some of her weirdo bands. So, you (the reader) will have to be on the ball, cause maybe it’s me writing, maybe it’s her. You can do it.

Due to this fact, we’ve decided to change the name. The blog will still be located here, but will be called “the atypical life”. This seems to fit us a little better, and the post below describes a glimpse of why.

Home is not where the heart is.
Ginny & I are in the process of buying a home. If you know us, this is quite a big deal. We fancy ourselves to be happy renters. We have never owned a home, and have even spurned the idea for the most part. Observer’s have offered the following reasons for our home ownership avoidance: must not have enough money, they’ve got plans to move, they’ll buy when they have kids, or a desire to not “put roots down”, whatever that means. Well, although there may be hints of truth in all of the conjecture, these really are not the reasons we have opted to live in a borrowed home.

Our true reason usually goes unsaid for fear of sounding self-righteous, but now that we’re buying, I guess we feel the freedom to say what we have been thinking. It is always easier to go public with finger pointing when the target includes you.

I think we each have our own reasons that somehow comingle to formulate what we think as a couple- always dangerous to speak for your spouse…but here goes: Ginny would describe it as a strong desire to not be a woman who is typified by “talking about curtains”. The tightwad that I am, would point to America’s wasteful consumerism and propensity to buy things we cannot afford. I hate debt. Feels like a chokehold. Scripture has some things to say about debt as well (believe me, I have heard all of the many reasons why buying a house is o.k., I am doing it remember).

Although I shun the curtain explanation as a little feminine, I think Ginny better describes the way we approach the whole thing. I don’t want to be average. I don’t want to be typical. If I know that I am fallen and sinful, and believe me I am reminded often, then I think that my default is usually destructive. So, Ginny and I have always committed to being atypical. Not for different’s sake. But because we know that what comes easy to us must be questioned and examined, lest we follow our own lead and end up precisely where we do not want to go.

And this is why we do not want to buy a house.

However, as we have conversed on this subject, we have come to realize what many of you are already thinking….it is not about the house. It is about the heart. And we know our weak hearts enough to know that a step toward normal could end in submission. It is not our strength that requires things such as home purchases to be mulled over to this extent. It is our weakness.

Another factor, yet untold, for moving from our current rent house is one that you may not understand. It is where eliot lived: we prayed on our knees for him on this floor, we brought him through this door, he slept in this room. All of his life was in this house. The thought of leaving is a tough one.

It was facing this proposition that cemented the notion that all of this has nothing to do with a house. Whether it be buying a new one or having to leave one that holds what will forever be our greatest memories, the soul rises above all.

Thus, in our hearts may we battle as never before to be atypical, because Christ has a call on all of those he seeks that is anything but normal. And may we relish with wide smiles every memory that can never be taken away.


Heather B. said...

So glad the the two of you are blogging again! I just hope that we all will get to see pictures of sweet, beautiful Hazel VERY soon!! Like tomorrow!! LOL!!!

Monique said...

i love this new blog...i love stalking one of my favorite families...i love the 80s

Anonymous said...

Welcome back to the blogosphere. Change can be a good thing and in the case of this blog I believe it is. I expectantly look forward to learning from your wisdom and life experiences, thank you for taking time out of your life to share with us.

etrhodes said...

So glad to be "catching up" with you guys again! We moved ourselves this Summer from the home that I brought all of my babies home to, the home where my girl spent her last beautiful days on earth. Every memory of her was so vivid in that home I was afraid that they would fade if I were to leave them behind. Although looking back I can see that God allowed for there to be an indescribable level of comfort in our move too. I will be praying the same for you all as you carry the memories of your sweet boy Eliot with you to your new home.

Amy said...

Not wanting to leave the house that Eliot lived in is more than understandable. We didn't even get to bring our son home, yet I still hesitated to leave the house where we spent our time "with" him. Be gentle and give yourselves times to grieve that even as you start a new and exciting chapter in your lives.

AW said...

I'm not in or never have been in your shoes. But I will say that I understand a little about being hesitant to leave your home with Eliot's memories.

When my husband and I moved out of our first apartment into our first home, we both cried. While we didn't have a child there, it was the place where we had our first two years of marriage memories: He carried me over THAT threshold. We made love in THAT bedroom for the first time. We burned our first meal in THAT kitchen. We cried over my lost job in THAT dining room. We drive by every now and then and reminisce, but we have just as many and MORE memories in our new little house. More heartache and more joy, but memories that are ours nonetheless. We take them whereever we matter the building we might be sleeping in.

Blessings on your house hunt! It's a perfect time for you to be doing it!


Unknown said...

I appreciate your feelings about consumerism and debt. Wish you the best in coping with your home with Eliot.

Amy R. said...

We cried when we left our first house, where we brought home our little girl, Morgan. She was not an easy baby - which I think makes our bond that much stronger because we have struggled together. She was just one when we moved but she still talks about our old house and playing in the basement. She likes to look at "Morgan's baby" pictures from our old house.

We own a little bigger house than our first house, but we still long for the first one. It felt more like "home". Did we REALLY need a garage? Did we REALLY need a second bathroom? I think we would also be happier with the smaller mortgage we had. My husband was just laid off and one of the first thoughts I had was "if we have to sell the house, I will be fine with that." It's not the greatest time to sell a house though. Oh well, just rambling on now. Looking forward to your other posts.

Anonymous said...

Probably a surpise, but I too am keeping up with your blog. No, I'm not an old friend, but a new friend that will share my thoughts and experience with you as you move through the decision to purchase a home. The struggles that you are experiencing are real, they touch on many areas of your life: emotions, financial, investment, faith, tax, beliefs, and life philosophy.

For you, being grounded in a faith and understanding, this will be a decision that will not change who you are, but a source of new memories, new opportunities, and a place to share your life with others.

I will not pretend to understand the difficulty of the change, but I will be there to offer support when I am capable. I consider it a privilege to have our lives cross paths, and look forward to helping you through the process.

Dale Carlton

Bob Hansel said...

LOVE Bum Genius - LOVE the rice papers that line them even more, or as we affectionately call them: shit shields!