yesterday, on his way out the door, matt noticed something spectacular in our very drab looking yard. there, surrounded on all sides by greys & browns & darkness was a burst of green & yellow & light. spring's first bloom.
the town of fayetteville still looks terrible from the ice storm. piles & piles & piles of brush & limbs & sticks & firewood stacked on every single street. the weather has been warmer the last few days, so the smell in the air is soft, gentle... and still, the picture of a quite harsh winter is very present.
hazel is here. she is creeping out of the sleepless infant stage. she is laughing at ton, sleeping occasionally, grabbing toes & toys. life is so sweet & my heart is so full. to say i love being her mom is a drastic understatement. when we let others know we were pregnant with her, there was somewhat of a sigh of relief as if she would be the new constant spring in our life after a rough winter. that sigh was from such great heart of love & good-intent, but that sigh was very wrong. life with hazel does feel like spring, but spring is not the only season.
this is the time of year when there are hints of spring & newness & life & hope and yet all around are reminders of the winter that has not yet left us. this may be the time of year that most resonates with my soul. this may be the time of year that i think will define my life until the day when i take my final earthly winter breath & begin to breathe the springtime of the eternal air of glory.
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9 comments:
Ginny,
I love this post...it feels like I wrote it myself. My own child lived just 3 weeks a year ago, and Spring time is a mix of joy and sadness as we carry her memory with us forward into the future. I'm so happy you have Hazel--I imagine it is healing for you in some ways. But I know she also reminds you of her brother. Thanks for your beautiful, true words. Please know I am thinking of Eliot, and you and Matt. I pray God will continue to heal your hearts in His way, and in His time.
~Amy
I just saw the story about baby Elliot; It was uploaded on a video on myspace.. God Bless you both. My son is almost 4 months and he is very healthy, my cousin just lost a baby a few days before her due date and I took it hard..anything to do with a baby I take it all hard! I've been crying all afternoon C: Just wanted to say that you two are incredibly strong people. God Bless.
What joy indeed.
I made way here by the same MySpace video (that brought me to tears) and then to Eliot's blog and then to here. You're strength is amazing! Hazel is beautiful and she does look just like her brother!
ginny,
I knew how u feel bout the lost..but ur so lucky u gain new hope..I am so glad that hazel came..its like a healing in some ways..ur rite when u say it is a sight of relief came when we heard that ur pregnant with hazel..I cud not be any happier when I heard the news and it gets better when u post hazel's picture..it is a relief for us, the one that knows eliot's story..but ginny, hazel is a bless that came from God..there are people out there who as not as lucky as u are..it is a true bless..u guys are so strong in handling all these..i certainly cud not picture myself handling it the way you guys did..life is a bless ginny..i've heard eliot's story..then I've heard about hazel..it only proves that God is fair enough in handling our fate..the truth is that we feel for u guys..we will continue praying the best for u guys..and by the way, hazel is so cute that I already downloaded her pic as my wallpaper..hope u dun mind..God bless..
I love this post. One year ago on March 3rd, our friend's 3 month old baby girl died from SIDS. They are now pregnant and we are so happy for them, but we miss their baby girl and grieve still, as I know you do. I love, love, love watching the video of your sweet Eliot. How I long for life for all of us--forever...
And then I see the end of your post! Oh the day! Yes, that is the day we wait for and hope for!
May truthful thoughts of eternity fill your mind today and bring you joy.
You, more than anyone that I know, must truly know what if feels like to yearn for heaven. Your writing is beautiful, and when I read your thoughts it does something to me deep in my soul. Because of what you and Matt have lived through, you have a maturity that I lack. But, in reading what you write, I feel like it grows me a bit. Thank you for writing.
LOVE the new header, guys!
Oh boy. What a post Ginny. I think that your description of spring -or rather the LONGING for spring- perfect describes how a believer should long for heaven.
When you have a precious little one there already, the feeling of hoping and waiting and longing for what YOU KNOW IS TO COME is that much great.
Hugs and peace to you and Matt.
~ Amy (mum to Nathaniel who also had T18)
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