GM: Very rarely in this life are we still. Quiet. Calm. Listening. The merry-go-round of life just goes & goes, only faster, never slower & all you hear is the hum of it going round & round & the loud background circus music. I'm nearly 5 months pregnant with an 11 month daughter, a dreamer husband, a little small business, friends that have not been called back, a home full of empty walls & a floor that needs to be repaired & laundry piled up...well, you get the idea. The carousel has been spinning & spinning for quite some time now and quite abruptly this week it stopped. It didn't just slow down, but rather came to a screeching halt.
Thursday night we had quite a scare. Essentially Matt & I thought we lost this baby. We rush to the hospital, barely breathing, praying, but not really knowing even how to pray. The doctor did an ultrasound & there it was...a strong beating heart & a healthy baby bopping around within my belly. The miracle of life is always amazing, but in the midst of all that fear & emotion it was truly beautiful, truly miraculous. Matt & I stood in awe & amazement. I am still in awe.
They found what's called a placenta previa. Essentially my placenta is in the wrong place & had caused hemorrhaging. It's a pretty common thing & we left a few hours later with instructions of bed rest. Not the kind of bed rest where you just take it easy, but the kind where you only move to go the bathroom & shower. Not sure how long this will be the case, but for now my life's present assignment is to care for & help Jesus make this baby by being still. Most respond with "oh I'm so sorry" or I even got a "you're gonna be SO bored!". But a little bedrest is nothing to be sorry about. We rejoice. In light of all we had thought on that breathless ride to the hospital; bedrest, ya know, is just no big deal. So we rejoice. I rest. We hope. I watch the beauty of a father & husband serving, loving recklessly. We pray a prayer of thanks & also of humbly asking God to protect this baby & my body.
It's amazing to me how true stillness can cause such stirring. It seems that as my body slows, my mind speeds. Nothing is without purpose & I feel as if my current quiet is no different. I anxiously await glimpses into Jesus' intent for my heart in this.
As I await & rest, I encourage you to join me & see what you may be missing out on. If you just thought, "I don't have time", then you really are the one that should join me...if you really think about it, you're not that busy.
Also, this bedrest may make me do crazy things...like post more on here. I apologize ahead of time.